Because Carlang said So

I've always been pretty normal. Nothing wierd happens to me, nothing wierd about me. I fall into the average category. I wake up, eat, sleep and in between do the same things average people do. I'm averagely tall, sized averagely (ok, a bit skinny), I basically don't fall into either of the extremes. So why did I get tagged on an "7 wierd things about me meme?" If there was that last confirmation I needed to know that I was so not wierd, it was being tagged.

For hours, I racked my brain trying to come up with wierd things about me. Maybe these things are so much a part of me that I don't consider them wierd. Here's my attempt...after thinking for almost 2 weeks. Damn! this was harder than JAMB and the MCAT put together!




1. I am very picky with my food.

If I can't pronounce it, I can't eat it. If I don't know what's in it, I'm not touching it. If I find out, it's still not going down my throat. Before u start thinking I'm anorexic or something, I'm not. I'm a healthy 1xx pounds, thank you. I think it started when I was very young. I wouldn't touch any okele (help! I can't translate that.), be it amala, eba or even pounded yam. Whenever it was time to eat it, my mom would tell me to sit on the floor beside her, my ever faithful pankere (cane) beside her. She'd take my meat and my water (u think it's panadol? she'd ask) till I finished eating. It usually took at least 2 hours. I wouldn't eat ewedu, or any drawing soup (still don't). In my adult years, I still don't eat any okele except pounded yam, I dont eat any drawing soup, and of late rice has started tasting like finely grounded sawdust. I don't like most american foods either.

2. I don't like coffee.

Coffee makes me puke. I don't care whether it's in a drink, candy, biscuit, cake, or whatever it's not going down my throat. I will not be tricked into drinking coffee, even if it is laced with caramel, hot or cold in any form or shape. So what if I have to stay up all night? It doesn't matter. I don't know what it is about coffee.

3. I used to have a morbid fear of driving

See, I grew up an overachiever, whatever I wanted to do, I did it. I rose to every challenge that ever presented itself....until driving came up, that is. I made no bones about learning how to drive. I didn't press for it, even when my sister was busy scheming how to sneak the car out. I was very apprehensive when I started learning in naija. You know how they first put you on the field, I ran into the goal post-nothing major. I learnt well, but I never drove after my lessons were over. I think it was the fear of going on the road with all the crazy danfo and okada drivers. Just as I was still nursing my fear about navigating through those two sets of weres, keke napeps came out. That was it. It put paid any driving adventures I might have had in naija. Maybe I was hit by a car in my first life, who knows? Now my driver's license is 7 months old. You should see me on the free way demonstrating my new found moves.

4. I google everything

If you ask me, Google is the eight wonder of the world. I don't know what I'd have done if I had been bone in the Slate-and-chalk days. I don't even bother arguing with people, I just google it.
I google in my spare time, I google everything and anything. I think I could pull up anything on google. I could even find out what u ate for dinner...on google.
and sometimes, I even google myself

5. I can't sleep with the lights off...if it's not my room

I remember one time when I went to my cousin's place. I woke up in the middle of the night, and NEPA had done their thang (there was light before I went to bed), I opened my eyes and couldn't see anything, first I couldn't get my bearings straight, and then I started freaking out. I felt like I was choking or something, so I ran to the window to get some air, which for some reason felt like it was thinning out. I placed my nose through the bars and was literally gulping air in and light. I had to wake my cousin up to light a candle. Same thing happens if I'm in a hotel room, or I move and have to sleep in my room for the first time. I think its kinda related to #6

6. I'm Claustrophobic

I enter elevators, and the first thing I think about is "I don't want to be stuck in this elevator!" I could survive in some of the roomier ones, but those shoe box ones. hell freaking no!. Funny thing is I actually got stuck in the elevator once. Thank God it was a roomy one.I kept telling myself "Don't freak out"

Luckily for me, I had my phone, and it was still working. Long story short, I spent about 15 mins calling up random people.

Never again!

For the next week, I started taking the stairs... and then I went back to the elevators.

7. I study on the porcelain throne.

Some people take a magazine or even a newspaper, I take my textbooks. Trust me, it beats the library hands down. That's how I studied and passed my SATs, MCATs and many college tests. The hardest concepts just seem to make more sense in that room. Maybe its the white tiles? Don't know why it works, but it does. wanna try it?

There! I did it. see, I'm not that wierd afterall. abi?

Please tell me I'm normal...

I tag little miss me, bighead and allied.

Anti-Corruption Day

After getting email, texts and messages I've finally decided to do this.

corruption in deeply rooted in the nigerian society. It does not start from elected leaders. It starts from the home.

That little girl that pockets the change from buying omo.
That little child that stole the N5:oo from the dining table to buy candy becomes
That 10 year old girl that peeps at her partner's work during the integrated science test. She becomes
That 18 year old girl that carried expo in order to pass the WAEC and inadvertently
Paid someone to write her Jamb for her and also
Pays the cleaner in Lag to 'runs' her admission for her and by the same stroke of luck?
meets equally corrupts lecturers and sleeps her way to a Second class Upper.

The cycle continues till we have bred a nation of corrupt individuals who cannot seem to do anything without resorting to underhand schemes.
When the time comes to elect leaders, from which pool do we elect our leaders?
A bad tree can NEVER bring forth good fruits, so how do we expect upright leaders if we know the pool from which we selected our leaders?

This is not to say we do not have upright leaders and citizens in Nigeria, but truth be told, they are in the minority.
If we are stop corruption in Nigeria, then we have to take it to the very foundation of our society- the home. Let us stop breeding corrupt children. Corrupt children make for a corrupt society which makes for a corrupt nation.
Each one of us can do our part in stopping corruption by refusing to be a part of it. Refusing to tolerate it.

Refuse to be the partner who lets someone copy off of your test paper
Refuse to be that WAEC employee who leaks the question papers
Refuse to be that proctor who accepts N10,ooo so that the whole class can cheat
Refuse to be that university officer who does runs for admission
Refuse to be that lecturer who would give grades in exchange for 10 minutes of lustful pleasure
By doing so, we would have set the ball rolling to a corrupt-free Nigeria.

At Last, my Love has come along

the missing part of me. My body has cracked because I had not found you.

The winter was harder on me, because I couldn't feel your thickness.

I tried all others, but noone could do me like you.

I'm sorry I ignored you, and went after your major contemporaries

I was seduced by their charm, they claimed to have it all

One even promised me Intensive Care

can you blame me if I was led astray by such promising words?

Another swore to melt on me like Butter

Yet another's lure was Soothing Relief

My Love, they were easily accessible

They didn't cost me much

That was why I cheated on you, and gave myself to another

Don' t worry Baby, all that is in the past now

Cos I've realized that nothing good comes cheap

You have yet to dissappoint me

Only you could take the Ashy out of my Flashy

And because of that, we shall never be parted.

My one and only Soulmate

-Eucerin Original Moisturizing Lotion