2012: ...and it's a wrap!

Unlike most of you, I started out 2012 not wanting to be a part of it. Yah, I was suicidal- with a plan and all. The scene in the movie xxx, I was gonna recreate the scene, but end it by dropping the radio in the tub. O well, I didnt.
Thus my 2012 started. My days were long and my nights were longer. I was thoroughly depressed and weighed in at 120 Ibs. I spent the days mulling over my problems and the lack of a fix for it.
Somehow I made it through January, and February, and was certain my life changing moment was coming in March - well, it didnt come.


I've learnt how to live with nothing. I've learnt to be happy with nothing. I've fought with God, made up with me, and I'm happy to KNOW that He loves me. He told me himself. One thing I learnt is to thank Him when we have nothing. Sometimes we wait until we have that job, that husband, that house before we begin to thank Him.

In the midst of having nothing, I decided to do a thankful post. Everyday on Facebook, I was thankful for something. A week into it, I realized that there was a lot to be thankful for. People LOL'ed as I was hankful for underwear box, laundry baskets, friends, LOMLs etc, but these were things I didnt even have earlier in he year.

And just like that, 2012 took a turn for the better. First from an unexpected large sum of money that I "had" with a friend, to starting my own company...which became companies, to having my own place. 2012 started for me in May. May heralded the beginning of new things for me. I finally put a scissors in my shameful hair and decided to start all over again.
I weighed a ridiculous 120 Ibs on my 5' 7" frame. (I had overheard someone talking about why any woman would look like the letter "I") just like that I gained back all my lost weight  and I'm now currently on a diet. Even though I made a decision not to date for the rest of the year, Love still found me. (Ife mi, I'm thankful for you).
Peace that passeth all understanding. Joy unspeakable. He gave it to me.

Same May, I decided to take a break from the dating world. I mean who would date someone like me? I was just a walking bag of bones and a pile of dead dreams. So I took a break to reset. A couple of months in, God had enlarged my coast (wiggles boobs against the computer screen) making me very "courageous" and "reasonable". Now I'm chasing suitors away left and right.

If I were to sum up my greatest achievement in 2012, I'd say" joy unspeakable". The kind of joy that makes people wonder exactly where it's coming from. A new job? A new boyfriend? Some inheritance. No. Just joy from himself that makes me bubble inside even when things are not going according to plan, because you know that He has something bigger planned ahead.
And so with 2012 ending, I'm looking forward to 2013 thankful that even when I gave up on Him, He did not give up on me. I'm thankful for life, because if I had succeeded in taking mine. How would I have learnt to Etighi? *shudders at the thought*
2013 is going to be just awesome! - I can feel it.

Santa baby...

Santa baby, slip a Singer under the tree,
For me.
been an awful good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a Kaftan from Tunica Handmade too,
size 2.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna ipad case,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
A Macbook Pro,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,
And checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.
Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some Leather decorations bought at Coach,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,


Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A Samsung Galaxy tab III.
I don't mean the artiste,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Merry Christmas guys!
Love YOU

PS: Santa, I've already started peeling the beans...

Coming out of the closet

So I knew it was just a matter of time before my invisibility cloak was torn. what with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, its getting hard for a kneegah to stay anonymous. How do you defend giggling into your phone without busting your cover?

so you know what they say: Everyone has a price. The people have spoken, and they want me to reveal my identity. That's fine. HOWEVER, there will be a price to pay.
I need
1. 50 "Ay captain!s" in the comment section
2. 50 "likes" on facebook
3. 50 new followers of the blog.

see, I dont ask for much....or do I?

Fine! Fine!! I'm not really in a hurry to be unanonymous. However I'll do it if...

PS: so I know that I don't really write that much fiction, but I write on two ore blogs
1. Every Teusday "Flight 606" goes up on www.360nobs.com. I'm up to Episode 13 now, but you can catch up and follow us here. I'll be looking out for your comments o!
2. Every Thursday, "Thirsty Thursdays" goes up on www.werunthings.net. I'm up to Episode 5 there. You can also quickly catch up and continue following it here. I'll also be looking out for your comments.

Dear Santa,

How are you? and how is the North pole? I hope things are going on smoothly? if so, doxology.
I know this is usually a busy time for you, but from my calculations, you've made a list and you're checking it twice. I just want to find out if I'm on the naughty list or the nice list. Not that I have any doubts which list I think I'm going to be on, but something happened last week.
On Thursday evening, I woke up wanting to eat. I put two wraps of moi moi on the cooker to warm up, then I put some garri in a bowl. As I said I should add some water, I opened the fridge, and there was no water!
(Un) fortunately, on closer inspection, was my roommate's
onlybottle of water. I examined it, and long story short, it fell into my bowl of garri!
What was I supposed to do Santa? I couldn't be rude and refuse to drink the garri. I just want you to know Santa, that I did NOT steal his water. You trust me right?

Now that we've gotten that tiny bit of confusing evidence out of the way, I hope you're bringing my Mac Book Air.

 thats why I love you santa! you're my favorite mythical creature

PS: have you tried moi moi elemi meje and garri? I'm not trying to say anything about Mrs Claus cooking skills.
PPS: I could lay some out for you in place of the cookies and warm milk if you want!
PPPS: note that I'm not trying to bribe you or anything, but my offer is dependent on there being a macbook under the tree.

All Cancers are not created equal

By now, every Tom Dick and Mariah knows that October is breast cancer awareness month. A lot of noise is made about it on social network. It's the one month the perverts can come out and talk about boobs without seeming like obvious perverts. In the hoopla surrounding it, the real message has been lost. False, inaccurate information being spread, and the people really needing the message, well, ignored.

Breast cancer is just that, until it hits close to home.

"Breast cancer remains the second leading cause of cancer death among women after lung cancer". So it really is serious stuff.

The new ACOG guidelines recommends that all women aged 40 and above should get a yearly mammogram. (Previously it was age 50 and above, with women 45 and up required to get one every 2 years)

That is, we should all ask our mothers if they have gotten mammograms this month, and encourage them to.

ACOG also doesn't stress the idea of self breast exams anymore. Why? Because to be honest, they haven't really been that much useful in detecting breast cancer, and also once you can feel the lump, the cancer has most likely spread. mammograms do a better job at detecting cancer way before you can feel them. Especially if you have massive jugs. Now would be a good time to promote my new DD boobs!

"The College continues to recommend annual clinical breast exams (CBE) for women ages 40 and older, and every one to three years for women ages 20-39. Additionally, The College encourages "breast self-awareness" for women ages 20 and older".

Breast self awareness is women knowing the normal feel and appearance of their breast, so that you can detect changes in your breasts. So what exactly are you looking/ feeling for? 

"Women who experience changes such as lumps in the breast or underarm, dimpling, breast pain, redness or thickening of the nipple or breast skin, or anything else that looks or feels different should quickly report them to their doctor". 

This is not to say that young women do not get breast cancer, (Re:Debbie), but the incidence if breast cancer is particularly low in this age group. As a young woman, your breasts go through a lot of changes, and the most common breast changes (Or disorders, if you will) among this age group is mostly benign (non-cancerous). It's mostly people who have a genetic predisposition to breast cancer or strong family history of breast cancer that might get breast cancer early. 

"Women with a strong family history should talk to their doctor about interventions such as beginning mammography before age 40"

Breast cancer is not a joke - those who have been affected directly/ know someone who have will tell you so. It's not an excuse to make lewd jokes about breasts too...although I came across this video I think you might like. Enjoy! 

Justice for Aluu4: another perspective

My Friday was effectively ruined when I saw pictures of the four boys that were lynched in UNIPORT. I have seen bloodied bodies and all before, but this one was particularly disturbing. I know many people on twitter have said that this is common practice in Nigeria, however for hours I didn't know why I was so disturbed by the pictures/ videos.
On Saturday evening, I watched the video, and I was so shaken, I actually cried. Whether you believe they are guilty or not, we almost ALL agree that what was done to the boys was barbaric.

I finally realized why those pictures affected me the way it did. I read the story on the TL of one of their friends. These boys were from proper homes, obviously well to do families. There was even a picture of one of them on holiday in London, and a recording of their track. Two of them were aspiring rappers. It's not because they were fine boys, it's because they look like people close to me!

They could easily have been my friends or brothers or cousins. I know some of the stories floating around alleged they were cultists, but have you mixed with the wrong crowd before? Have you ever made mistakes in your life? I know many people who will give testimony of a time in their life when they foolishly tried stupid stuff (yahoo-yahoo, cab ja, etc). I know I have.

I watched the video, and I was reminded of Him who suffered the same fate. He was no thief, yet he was beaten the same way, tortured, then made to carry his own instrument of death when it was clear he was near exhaustion.

But they cried out, “Away with Him, away with Him! Crucify Him!”

Pilate then went out to them and said, “What accusation do you bring against this Man?” They answered and said to him, “If He were not an evildoer, we would not have delivered Him up to you.” (John 18:29, 30 NKJV)

Then they spat on Him, and took the reed and struck Him on the head. (Matthew 27:30 NKJV).

I know we are all clamouring for justice for the #Aluu4, but what about Justice for the one who died for you? I know I would have given my laptop and phones if I knew it would spare those boys' lives.

There are so many things we say as Christians that we don't really visualize. Maybe for this reason, I would actually challenge people to watch the video- as gory as it is, and know that someone took that kind of treatment - if not worse for your sake. The only way you can make his suffering count, and His death not be in vain is to live right.

Re: Why You Should(nt) Marry a Female Doctor

Jejely I was, going on my own when one of my tweeps mentioned me in a blogpost. My dopamine levels spiked and  I quickly checked.

WHY YOU SHOULD(NT) MARRY A FEMALE DOCTOR!

Ewo! So as bad as it is out there setting traps for (unsuspecting) men, this one now wants to come and spoil market for me! Ko Jo bee! 

1. She is older and wiser ( which might not always be a bad thing). Not all female doctors are old. My graduating class had an average age of 25, and we have younger doctors sef. I know many 22 year old doctors! ...but if you want to marry a fool/unwise person, who am I to stop you sha,

2. She is independent.

I can hunnesten how Independence might be a deal breaker for you. I can't help you here. There are many shaniquas round d block waiting....then it's d same guys that will open mouth to talk about gold diggers, I'm feeling you!

3. She will more than likely talk back at you.

Please allow me to collect my eyes from the back of my head where they've rolled back to, If there's anything residency teaches you it's humility. You don't talk back to your resident/ attending...except when the patient's life is in danger.

4. Her career may mean more to her than your needs.

Awww booboo, I'm really sorry that there's a dying patient in the Operating suite, but I'll just stay here while you try to bussanut...freak!

5. You will sleep alone at night a lot and she'd probably not be back before you leave for work in the morning.

In case you haven't gotten d memo, with the new resident duty hours, medicine is now like shift work. Hello, 16 hour work weeks!... And attendings even have it better.

6. You would more than likely need a maid. 

Rme

7. It may be hard to convince her to take extended time off work to raise the family or even to put her career on hold.

Will you put YOUR career on hold to take care of the family? Oho!  

8. She has no time for extended dating, you're either ready to marry or out the door.

Aww McBasic, just because she doesnt have time for your games, here's tissue, wipe your nose. Who wants to date extendedly anyways?

9. I will stop here because I have been warned by the female doctors mafia to put more advantages than disadvantages.

Then he proceeds to talk about the advantages...

1. She takes her relationship seriously - she's more than likely ready for marriage.

The amount of fucking that goes on in med school ehn...and even the hospitals sef. My classmates were a bunch of rabbits! And as I hear, it happens everywhere!

Be deluded not!

2. You are admired by your peers for landing a choice catch.

3. She is able to take care of major expenses for the family e.g paying the maid.

I'm thinking you're talking about female Attending doctors, cos I'm tired of explaining how we're not even on d graph when it comes to money during med school. Someone who works at McDonalds or Target probably makes more than a newly minted doctor - for the next 4-5 years!graph 

4. She is smart. And knowing a smart lady is ready to be submissive to you puts you on top of the world
O well, can't argue with that! :p

5. You have little to worry about her ante-natal care and birth of your kids.

6. She is hard working and good at multi-tasking.

But I thought you were complaining at #4 and #7 above?

7. She will hardly have time to sit down and engage in gossip with other housewives.

Ees like you don't know how much I love gossip ehn! And d gossip in the hospital is on another level, would put desperate housewives to shame sef!

8. You always have a ready excuse to dodge couple events - "my wife is on call and I have to take the kids to Grandma's"

Except there's one little thing called the call schedule...that is made in advance!

Also, not everyone takes calls. Even as a resident some people still get two golden weekends off.

Sorry to disappoint you bro, call is no longer as ominous as it was in times past.

9. You can leave her to bother about the right amount of calories you need in your diet.

*barf*

Actually, lemme take a moment to Rotflmao!

Shey doctor ti worry nipa calorie Ninu diet titie Na?

10. Most female doctors are beautiful. ( I had to put in that so my food won't be poisoned at work)

But we are sha! #justsaying hehehhe

So go ahead and propose to that doctor, while I take cover from the expected responses to this article. :)

I know this blogpost was written light heatedly, but it DOES perpetuate some stereotypes that grind my gears. Everyone sees female doctors as Rich, Smart, don't-have-no-time, intelligent beauties. But it's d other way round. I'm broke half d time, in more debt than you would ever think!

Also, not all doctors are created equal. I have colleagues in Radiology who work 9-5 , no calls till third year, and even then it's Q7 (weekly)

My OB pals do 7am-7pm with call twice a month , thanks to night float.

Doctors are regular people just like the rest of us. We learn Anatomy and Physiology, not some huge moral code (well, except healthcare ethics). A lot of Rabbits and Fishes I know are medical doctors. Lets stop making assumptions on a person's character based on their profession....that being said, show me the ring!!!! Lol 

30 day challenge: Day 2 - Letter to my crush

Dear crush, 

It's kinda funny that I've known you all these years...and you just made it to crush level *here's your badge by the way*. We've gone over our first impressions of each other, etc.

If you must know I tried so hard NOT to crush on you! Even though I remember you trying to zone me. I shall not be zoned! 

From talking about sex, to talking about the Bible, to uplifting me when I feel down, to me chastising you, I enjoy sharing my ideas with you, your constructive criticisms,  - I'm scared of crushes. Because crushes can go either way. You can wake up one day and it's not there anymore or you can move to the next level - pic stitching pictures together. Yes I tell you, you haven't crushed until you've pic stitched.

What's more is that I've seen you grow - watch you shed the google eyed young boy persona and morph into an admirable young man with wisdom beyond your years. Maybe this is why you're crush. 

Sometimes I doubt that you know the effect of your words - yesterday you said, "don't fall for me" and I replied "of course not". Ok, I lied. I'm used to talking to you, and my evenings are not complete without our regular conversations, and I keep "gist" for you. 

It's hard watching your crush grapple over feelings for someone else. But so long as you're fine, that's all that matters - and you WILL be fine. 

There's so much more I want to write, but I have a feeling this won't be my only letter to you in this challenge. So, I'll let Bruno do some of the talking for me...

Love always,

Bumight.

Letter to my Best Friend

Dear best friend, 

If anyone ever told me I'd be referring to you as best friend, I'd have kneed them in the nuts! And I know you'd cringe if I ever called you BFF to your face, lol. Accept your fate - along with your badge, ID card and pager- with pride. 

It's funny how we met, first conversation and I was like "this keed is coo!". 

Thanks for being there when nobody was. Thanks for caring. Thanks for not leaving...even when I tried to push you away. Thanks for putting up with my eccentricities, and thanks for responding to my pagers - no matter how dumb it is.

You truly do have an amazing heart, and any woman that gets you is lucky AF! Don't worry, I'm not jealous. I remember your feeble attempts to get me to watch soccer.any man that can get me interested in soccer is a keeper! Lol , so accept your lifetime shares in the BFF zone, lol

Love always, 

Bumight

PPS: it's still nominations time, So take a moment to nominate your favorite blog in as many categories as you like: best humorblog, best personal blog, and maybe blog of the year! *cough*

Go here to nominate: ==> Nominations

Write a letter...

I saw someone do this once on instagram, and I thought of doing the same...until I promptly forgot. Then I saw it on Zena's blog again (not exactly the same thing) and I figured I would give it a shot. I mentioned on twitter the other day that I want someone ti write an old fashioned letter to me by snail mail...and sprinkle perf (note, not perfume) on it. *nolstalgia!*

So from Monday, here goes:

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

He has done GREAT things!

He has done for me

what my mother cannot do

Come and join me sing hallelujah

Jehovah Jireh as done me well...

Praaaaaaise da Loooord!  my God has done it! 

Yes, he has done GREAT things, 

he has done GREAT things

Bless His holy name! 

If you've been an avid reader of my blog, /follower of my blog, you'd have read/heard about my struggles with breasticles. I even blogged about it here in 2009. What I didn't tell y'all was I never really got to wear my miracle, as the strap had its problem. So, I felt like the Spirit was trying to tell me something! : instead of a pushup bra, why not PUSH? 

So, PUSH I did - Pray Until Something Happens....and something happened! I knew I had a big problem on my hands - actually on my chest, but I didn't give it much thought until two days ago. 

I had laid out my Ankara for church the previous night. While trying to zip up that morning, I got to my back side and the zip refused to go further! So I decided to wear another Ankara, and lo and behold, my zip popped halfway through! 

I spent the better part of the morning feeling like a seapork, until it just popped into my head that seapork ti o ni love handles, ti o ni muffin top, something else must be going on! 

So, I'm on my way to go get resized and shop for a new bra. I'm tres hexcited! My melons have arrived. So join me in singing

He has done for me (he has done for me)

What "kuluso" cannot do

He has done for me! 

PS: I'll keep you guys updated, as per effryting effryting,...and like a great poet once said "jiggy jiggy baybay!" 

PPS: it's blog awards time, yippee! So take a moment to nominate your favorite blog in as many categories as you like: best humorblog, best personal blog, and maybe blog of the year! *cough*

Go here to nominate: ==> Nominations