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Friday, November 30, 2007

I'm losing it

I've been putting off writing for a long time. I don't feel like doing anything. I have one of the biggest exams of my life (at least that's what it seems now) right by the corner, and this is the wrongest time for anything to go wrong. Plenty has.
This is the closest I've come to being depressed for real. I feel like just existing.
I'm sad
I'm scared
I'm depressed
I've emptied all of my tear ducts
My house is a mess!
I'm losing it

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Naija or Bust!!!

It's official- Naija 07! I finally got my ticket, the bank account is lighter, but it feels great. God knows I miss Naija like crazy, it doesn't help when everyone around you is going back home. Last year, I looked at people going home, very green with jealousy- I must have even joined the People Against the Bloody Nigerians Going Home For Christmas.Yes, BLOODY! group on facebook at some point. Now this year, I'm one of those bloody Nigerians, and I'm loving it nonetheless hehehe!!!
This ticket cost me a little more than $2000 and I'll be damned if I don't enjoy every last cent of it.
I look forward to Silverbird, Palms and every other movie theatre in Naija
(never again will I be slighted when we gist about them in yankee)

I look forward to Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, Tastee Fried Chicken
(yes, I want-scratch that- need to be tantalized)

I look forward to Old friends from high school and college
(No mama Bumight, I'm not going to be on lockdown this year!)

I look forward to seeing my ex
(boyfriend, please don't be reading this)

I look forward to seeing my neice for the first time
(you better be pretty in person or else I won't be claiming you)


I do not look forward to spending half a day cooped up in a plane
(direct flights suck!)

I do not look forward to NEPA or is it PHCN
(papa Bumight, please stock up on diesel)

I do not look forward to Lagos traffic
(helicopters, flying cars? in my dreams!)

Lagos here I come!!!!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Meeting Sally

So I finally met Sally, she was everything I imagined her to be. Skinny, I suspect she used to do yoga or was into healthy living at some point. He hair was shaven when I met her. I'm thankful for this, It makes the experience less personal. Like I let on earlier, I was anxious to meet Sally. It was more like a mix of anxious and nervous. I didn't know what my first words would be. I wasn't even sure how I would react to her presence.

The day before I was actually to meet her, I had a dream. In my dream, I was late for lab, and two of my friends were already there. They had gotten on with the work without me and I had to do my share even though it was late. In the dream I remembered being scared. I woke up and realized it was a dream. I dressed for school, wearing a combo of my least prized t-shirts. I didn't want anything ruining them.

As it turned out, that day was not going to be the big day. School was not exciting. We had a lecture on The Vertebral Column. That afternoon in lab, we spent the day looking at bones, inspecting them and all. Sally was there, but I didn't meet her(we actually did the lab over her), the time wasn't right.
The next day, I knew the time was right. We were supposed to be doing the back. I didn't plan this, but I came into the lab late. My labmates were already there, and with the help of the lab assistant, were trying to prop a block beneath Sally. I was just looking at them, I wasn't ready just yet.

They sha managed sha. Some of them were anxious, touching Sally and all that. After like a couple of mins, my teacher comes and after yarning some opat(he actually recited a poem when he made the first cut), makes the first incision.

This is where you need to disappear if you don't want to read this. Bimbylads, I promise I'll keep it sexy horror, lol!

So he makes one vertical incision down Sally's spine, and one from shoulder to shoulder, two more horizontal ones that divided the back into 6. He now shows us how to remove the skin.
keep in mind that this time, we were all acting normal. Some people were acting like they've been doing this all their lives.

We decided that we would each remove one flap of skin, since there was one to go round the 7 of us. Very soon it was my turn. Let me say that I'm a fast learner. If I watch someone do something once, I can make a very good imitation. That's how I learnt about computers, braiding hair... but I digress.

When It came to my turn, I took the scalpel and was just removing skin like "pshew! I do this all the time!", lol!. I commend myself for a job almost perfect. Infact, I commend my group, we were the bomb.

The cool part of the whole thing (I think only Naapali and ONB will understand) is that Sally was skinny! as in, she had almost zero fat. I was grateful for that cos I saw some of my friends that had fat ones, and all I can say was the sight wasn't pretty (still keeping it sexy!) at all. full stop.

So we had to separate the muscles of the back, all I could think of was Allahu wakbar (did I say that right? I'm not muslim), God is great. The silly part of me goes "It's just like it looks in the textbook!". On the real though, God is great. Everything had an order to it. We found most of the muscles we were supposed to find, now the big part was memorizing the names.

Another cool thing was that nobody in my class fainted or threw up. Maybe it was because we hadn't had lunch yet, but they saved us all the drama. Kudos c/o 2011!!! Although I suspect a lot of people were seriously fronting, you know, trying to be bigger boys and babes. One of my groupmates stylishly refused to dissect though, and another one went to move her car and wasn't back for almost an hour. I don't blame anybody, they both did in the end sha.

After a couple of hours, or better still when we got to the muscles, we were so engrossed in finding what we were looking for. I swear, it wasn't that bad. I won't try and act like I wasn't nervous or anxious about it, that's normal. I'm getting used to the smell of formaldehyde and I don't feel cold in the lab anymore, and it's just been about 48 hours.

I was first scared that I won't be able to eat meat again. Whosai! I came home and ate my shiken, the only thing though is now before I eat the meat, I start trying to identify the Latissimus dorsi and the rest(muscles). I'm having fun and that's the most important thing. I'll be doing this for months so you know my ass better be having fun cos its not ending any time soon.
Thanks Sally for being all that I imagined (and dreamt?) you would be! I'm looking forward to learning so much from you!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Jesus is Lord

This week seems like a good week on blogville, everyone's updating. I've been calling people from my school in naija of late, and for some reason I remember Daddy Esther. There was another name they used to call him, but I forget. When I got admission into college, my parent agreed that I would be staying with a 'cousin'. Let's call her Spice. Spice's mother and my father were cousins, so that made us ???
Neways, Our university was one of those non-residential ones, so we had to get accomodations ourselves. Spice was staying at this house which had a funny name.
The house was built sort of funny. The house was a one story building. the front part was supposed to be a three bedroom flat , with single rooms attached at the back. We had only one indigene family living in the house. They occupied two of the three bedrooms of the flat. Spice and myself occupied the third room.
You see, we were not operating the flat as a unit. The would-be living area was where we cooked and just some empty space. One of the rooms was the family room, the other room was the 'Living room' for the indigene family.
Mummy Esther was a petty trader, and Daddy Esther was a nurse- or so I was told. On that firs night, a woman client of daddy Esther just gave birth to a baby(can't remember the sex). All was cool in the house till one morning.

"so, bawo lo se n se yin" [so how are you feeling?]

"xxxx" (muffled answer)

"Igbawo le ti ri gbeyin" <when last did u see it>

"a to bi osu xxx" [It's been like xxx days]

'alright, to ba di xxx ke maa bo …" <alright, come back in xxx days>

And so the appointment was made. Conversations like that were quite frequent, and I didn't think any thing about it. Actually, there was a connecting door between our room and the living room of the Indigene family, so we could hear conversations . The door was made of flimsy wood, although it was permanently nailed shut.
The room right next to our room was the first of about 5 other single rooms in the building. That was daddy Esther's clinic. The very same room where that baby (whose sex I can't remember) was born. I noticed that all daddy Esther's patients were female. This was quite normal cos apparently daddy Esther was the local Ob&Gyn in the area.
To be fair to him Daddy Esther was quite 'prayerful'. On some saturdays, Daddy Esther would decide that he wanted to have a very prayerful quite time, and we would be forced to wake up, because his 'praise and worship' sessions were usually quite loud.

Then there was this Saturday. I was chilling in my neighbor's room. Their room also connected with Daddy Esther's clinic through one of such flimsy doors that were permanently nailed shut. Then the noises began:

"yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"dake o" "keep quiet"

"yeeeeee"

"oda ma wipe 'Jesu loluwa'" "Alright, start saying 'Jesus is Lord'"

"Jesu loluwa, Jesu loluwa, "Jeeeeeeeeeeeesu loluwaaaaaaaa" "Jesuuuuuuuuuuus is Looooooooooord"

The patient in question was the house girl of a well to do madam- Our best guess, since she looked scrawny and came in a chauffeur driven car with a woman who was obviously not her mother.

My friends said there have been nights when they have been woken by shouts of

"Eje Jesu, Ejeeeeeeeeee Jesu" "Blood of Jesus, Blooooooood of Jesuuuuuuuuuuus"

The Jesu loluwa duo- yes, DUO- were two friends who happened to have gotten preggers at about the same time.

On many such nights, my friends had to rap on the door to tell them to keep it down.

Little naïve 16 yr old me didn't stop to wonder why all of Daddy Esther's pregnant clients never came out with any child. Come to think of it, the only baby that made it out of daddy Esther's clinic was that one baby whose sex I can't remember.

The sad part of the whole thing was Daddy Esther's method. I heard- heard, being the keyword- don't quote me on this, that he had some herbal concoctions that he would give his clients to drink. Apparently, this was to make the baby descend, and then Nurse Daddy Esther would then insert some sterilized *insert choke here* instruments-maybe they were forceps, I don't know- into the patient's vajayjay and pull the something out.

I'm left to wonder how many uteruses he has redesigned in the process.

Monday, November 12, 2007

:-(

I have been resisting the urge to call X now for days.

I haven't called only because I haven't been able to think of any reasonable excuse for calling.

I really don't want to blog about this cos I'm hungry

These are the moments when I slightly feel what those somalian children felt and it isn't easy.

I am hugry, and there is no food in my house.

Let me weigh my options

Pounded yam? there's no soup

cereal? nah, no milk

maybe rice? no stew either

Garri? It will only worsen my case

toothpaste? I'm not yet that desperate

I'm so not made for suffering :-(

I really need to go grocery shopping and cook, but then where's the time?

I'm going to go and groan under my bed, maybe I'll fall asleep in the process

or better still, Eureka!...

I'm going to go look at pictures of food on catwalq's blog

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Ex-Appeal

I won't even lie and say I didn't mean to, cos I wanted to. I was talking with one of my friends from naija, and we were busy reminiscing over the few semesters I spent in Uni in naija. It was one of the best conversations I had had with anyone from my former school.
Every other guy who I have spoken with since I left either wanted to "yahooze" me or starts declaring their "love" for me (still yahooze in my books). I don't know if they think I'm stupid or something. There was actually one of them that was asking me for my bank account and stuff, if I had a credit card blah blah. You've seen mugu shey?
Neways, this other dude was different, and the conversation got even more interesting since he started telling me about his fiancee. I guess I was impressed that he was the one who actually called and was willing to stay on the phone, catching up on old times. After almost 30 mins, I take pity on his credit and decided to buy a phone card. We gisted for a while before I left. I told him I wanted to call one of my friends -one of his almost-girlfriends.
I called my friend and she didn't pick up.
Since I didn't want to waste the phone card, I called my ex. (does that sound like a good excuse? *shrug* that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). He knew I was the one even before I said anything.We actually had a good conversation- the best we've had in recent years.
We must have dated for like 6 months (I'm not sure anymore) and then I called it off before I travelled out of the country. It might sound mean, but I'm not a long distance person. I felt there was no point holding on to the relationship when it wasn't like we were engaged or something else. woreva, it pained him, but he took it in good stride.
Everytime we spoke, he was always trying to get me to tell him about my 'feelings' almost like trying to 'lure' me back into the relationship. I knew he never really moved on for a while. Very soon, I got tired of calling him because of it.
I still don't know why I called him this time. This time though, it was different. He didn't bring up anything about the past. He even told me about some girl he dated for a while. We talked about my boyfriend too, and he was very cool about it.
I guess it was because he wasn't bugging me to get back with him or anything, it made me admit to myself that I really missed him (I was never able to tell him that before because that used to keep his hopes up about us getting back together).
He still calls me the same pet names.
PS: I'm a sucker for pet names
That conversation stirred up a whole lot of feelings that I thought I had buried for good in the past.
Now I feel guilty, it almost feels like cheating on my boyfriend. I keep telling myself it's just a phone call to someone who's 20,000miles away.

Baby, I Loved you
...but my heart is with someone else

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dead bodies

Anatomy starts in 7 days. I'm getting ready. I've got some books, I'm ordering the orders. I'm shopping for scrubs, a dissection kit. I'm getting ready.... and anxious.
It is almost like some sort of excitement, nervousness, anxiety all rolled into one. I've never dissected before, and I don't know what would happen.
It's not like I haven't seen a dead body before, I saw my first dead body when I was 14. It was black and charred, in the gutter, right at Fagba bus stop. The OPC dudes and hausa people I guess had a fight that resulted in killing and burning people. I didn't feel anything. I just knew I didn't want to be that burnt body in the gutter. I wanted to get home, and fast too... but I digress
To make matters worse, people keep asking me, "have you started practicals yet?" At first I pretend not to know what that means, and answer "yeah, I've started histology practicals"
Actually, my mum asks me everytime she calls. All the time, I have to keep myself from snapping at her, I just impatiently told her that the curriculum runs different from the way it runs in Nigeria.
My pastor asked me also. I wanted to tell him to shut up. I love my mum. I also love my pastor.I think that I'm being snappy because people have a way they expect me to feel. Maybe they expect me to be nervous or something, I don't know. Anyways, I'm excited. I've even picked out a name. If I get a female body, I've decided I'm going to call her Sally. I don't know have a name for a male body.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Getting to know me

1.What time did you get up this morning? 6:38AM...after snoozing for 20 mins

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girl's best friend

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? what's that?

4. What is your favorite TV show? House, M.D

5What do you usually have for breakfast? cereal...when I have the time

6. What is your middle name? Titilayo

7. What food do you dislike? A whole lot, you don't even want to get me started on that...

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I don't listen to CDs anymore, I've upgraded to Ipod, lol!

10. Favorite sandwich? Tuna sandwich!

11. What characteristic do you despise?

12. Favorite item of clothing? currently, I love Jackets

13 If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? France, the city of loooove

15. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't discriminate: if I like it, I buy it... that is if I have money

16. Where would you retire to? Depends on the money, Naija won't be bad.

17. What was your most memorable birthday? My 10th birthday, maybe cos I had a party and I changed my outfit like twice...

18. Favorite sport to watch? I'm not really a sports person, if you tell me the scores from a soccer match, I'm good.

19. Farthest place you are sending this? Dunno

20 Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Anyone with a Y chromosome

21. Person you expect to send it back first? Nobody actually, as I'm posting this

22. Favorite saying: Let's google it!

23. When is your birthday? 05.14

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? A night owl

25. What is your shoe size? 10

26. Pets? I don't have the time for pets

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? umn... not really, ...I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!, lol!

28. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a teacher, but I quickly changed my mind once I was old enough to realize that teachers don't get paid that much!

29. What are you today? Medical Student

30. What is your favorite candy? Malteesers

31. What is your favorite flower? abeg, I'm a naija person jare, do we get flowers that often?

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Dec 17, free at last....for a while that is

33. What church do you attend? RCCG

34. What is your full name? I'm supposed to be anonymous remember?

35. What are you listening to right now? Muscle Contraction... as rendered by Dr. Smith

36. What was the last thing you ate? Tuna sandwich :-)

37. Do you wish on stars? Again, maybe u don't understand that I'm from niaja, naija people don't wish on stars.

38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I don't want to be a crayon. Life would be boring as a crayon.

39. How is the weather right now? cold

40. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Sola

41. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of course! or I wouldn't be bothering with this

42. Favorite soft drink? Fanta..lol!

43. Favorite restaurant? Outback Steak House... can't get over their bread. I have half a good mind to go there one day and pretend like I want to order something, then when they give me the bread, I'll eat it and then pretend that I'm annoyed and then walk out!... but then I digress

44. Hair color? Black

46. Favorite day of the year? My birthday... the only day i believe the world should revolve around me

47. What was your favorite toy as a child?I don't remember getting too many toys :-(

48. Summer or winter? Summer for shizzle, lol!

49. Hugs or Kisses? Both

50. Chocolate or Vanilla? I really don't care

51. Do you want your friends to email you back? that is if I do send this out as an email

52. When was the last time you cried? when I thot my bf was breaking up with me

53. What is under your bed? Nothing

54 What did you do last night? I studied and cooked goat meat stew!

55. Favorite smell? my gases... ok, my perfume-Bvglari

56. What are you afraid of? I'm spartan!!!! we ain't never scurred!

57. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? More like the sweet sugary popcorn they used to sell in naija. It was the bomb! they need to get Americans in on the secret

58. How many keys on your key ring? 3

59.How many years at your current job? about 4 months

60.Favorite day of the week? Monday

61 How many towns have you lived in? 5

62 Do you make friends easily? I don't.. except its virtual i.e over the internet (I know, I' pathetic!!!)



63 How many people will you be sending this to? All my favorite bloggers
 

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