How Nigerian is Nigerian?

yeah, that title may look wack at first but then if you take a closer and deeper look at it, maybe not so wack after all.

So, If you grew up in Nigeria, went to an abe-ogede high school, experienced the "Nigerian" way of life, can eat eba, amala and ogbono, can speak yoruba, ibo, pidgin, or a healthy combination, have the memories, the experience the whole nine yeards. Have jumped on an okada, know how to navigate danfo buses, and even know how to curse someone in a couple of the above-mentioned languages, does that make u nigerian?

what if you grew up in Nigeria, went to one of the posh schools, can only speak English (yoruba, ibo, and God-forbid pidgin are all vernacular!), only eat eba and amala if forced (somehow in Naija u only ate kellogs), would not be caught dead in a danfo bus, not to talk of on an okada. are u nigerian?

How about if you grew up in Yankee, but your parents are naija, so you understand "your" language (even if you can't speak it), you only eat pounded yam (the poundo type) cos ur mama forced it down your throat, you've prolly visited naija like once or twice- during christmas. does that make u nigerian?

Let's say you grew up in Yankee, both your parents are naija, BUT you only speak English at home, you do not understand a word of yoruba, Igbo or ur language, you only eat pizza and lasanga. You're no different from the next shaniqua- EXCEPT your name is Omogoriola Otaibayo. Are you really nigerian?

Well, I put up the above scenarios because I'm tired of explaining to people who is nigerian or not. In my class, for some odd reason, we happen to have a healthy mix of nigerians(other classes don't have as much)- and we all fall into the categories mentioned above. They say birds of the same feathers flock together, so naturally most of us are all friends. However, the rest of the class believes that there is a Nigerian "clique". They even go as far as blaming the disunity of the class on the Nigerians.

One time, I had an argument/discussion with some of my akata friends as to who is really Nigerian or not. Some Nigerians in group 3/group 4 feel as though they are being referred to as fake-nigerians. Although some Nigerians in group 1 might hold that belief, I try to explain to them that there are also Nigerians in group 2 who are just the same as those in group 3.

Also, there is this belief that no nigerian girl would date any of the akata boys in the class, and if God-forbid an akata girl started dating a naija boy, that there would be serious hating from the naija girls! I really didn't sound credible cos my boyfriend is a naija guy, but then that's my personal preference. The only thing I could say is why do Black men get stares when they have a White lady on their arm? nuff said!

In my own opinion, You're as Nigerian as you think you are. I have so many friends that grew up in Nigeria all their life and can't even speak any Nigerian language. My four year old cousin who was born in yankee, is more patriotic than I am. He would willingly volunteer to any stranger that he is Nigerian, he loves his buba and sokoto with a passion, and can eat iyan all week with no problems!

If you belong to group 3 or even group 4 and you tell me you're American but your parents are Nigerian, who am I to argue with you? can we stop all this hating please! jeez!!

First Red Riding Hood

I remember that day clearly, just as if it was yesterday, May 1st. It was worker's day but my parents (both workers) didn't seem to notice because they were both gone before I woke up. And like such days, my sisters were already up watching Cadbury's breakfast Television, even though they had not done their morning chores.


I woke up and my stomach felt somehow unsettled. Everyone in my house knew how to categorize and describe stomach aches. The one up usually meant u were hungry, pain below meant you were having ulcer pangs, and general *turning hands in circles* unsettlement meant u needed some major medicine.


Anyways, this pain was lower than the "ulcer pain" site, and it felt different. Then I had the urge to go to the restroom and there I saw it.


There was blood in my pants.


Of course, I had been waiting for this moment. Last term in school all my close friends started but me. They came to school armed with the necessary artillery to fight the red witch.


When the moment came, everything I had prepared for, all I had "learnt" went out of my head. so I called my sister and we decided to hold fort till my mum arrived.


I kept running into the restroom every 30 mins.


For some reason, I couldn't tell my mum that night, so I told her in the morning


mama bumight: why didn't u tell me yesterday?


bumight: I was already asleep before you came back


mama bumight: so what did you use?


bumight: I used toilet rolls


mama bumight: ok, go and collect money from your dad and go and buy pad.


wtf! s@##&^%! I looked at her almost praying she was joking. Yeah she was joking, but she gave me the look.

I knew she was enjoying this.


With no option, I moved my uncooperative feet towards the dining room where my dad was reading something. When I almost got there, I diverted and went into the kitchen.


mama bumight: daddy, bumight wants to tell you something


papa bumight: what is it?


bumight: em....em... I ...


by this time I see the amused look in his eyes


bumight: I...mummy said I should collect money from you to buy....pad


papa bumight: what type of pad


is this man kidding me?


bumight: daddy now, u know... *heavy blush*


papa bumight: writing pad?


somebody please shoot me now


bumight: sanitary pad

PS: I'm toying with the idea of making this into a weekly thing: first fridays. I reserve the right to pick what I want to write about, but I'm open to suggestions. sorry i didnt do a spell check :(

F is for fuck up!

Excuse my french, but that's how I feel right about now. yeah,...yet again another whinning post.
I was introduced to this dreaded curse in freshman year of college. When it was time to apply for summer programs and internships, it was the same thing over and over again.
US citizens and Permanent Residents only.
It didnt even matter if you had a perfect 4.0 and some other person had a 3.0.
By sophomore year, I got used to it. Before I filled out any applications, I just scanned right to the end to the part where it says:
US citizens and Permanent Residents only.
There's this research program that I applied to in my school that is the cause of this post. As usual, I scanned through the application looking for those infamous words, and IT WASN'T THERE.
so I appllied.
I went to see the program coordinator and then he told me he could only award the placements to:
US citizens and Permanent Residents only.
The annoying thing about the whole process is that those placements had NOTHING to do with how good ur application was, ur research experience or anything. I don't think he even read the applications yet.
My friends pretty much got to cherrry-pick where they wanted to go, what programs they wanted to do and there was a big F-1 (student visa) beside my name.
I am so pissed, I almost cried.
I am still pissed.
This would have been the easiest appliction process ever and the programs are great.
Right now, I have seriously vexed and I'm going to go get married to my citizen toaster.
o ti su mi!
*tears*

I'm so not crazy about you anymore!

1. shopping
When I was in college (omigosh! I sound old) shopping was a weekly event you planned for. I would wake up on saturday morning, eat brunch, take a bath, and go to the mall with my friends. We didn't need any reason to go shopping, we just did. One saturday, Coffee would need a new top and the 5 of us would all go to the mall. The next saturday, it would be Coco. The next, it would be Caramel that wanted new shoes. We knew all the malls in the area. We knew the best mall to go to for any occasion. We knew which malls had which shops and all that.
Now, I don't get any rush from shopping anymore. I do not enjoy trying dress after dress looking for the perfect one.
Can't I just be like Paris Hilton and have the shops bring the clothes to my house? *sigh*


2. facebook
I've been on facebook for like 3 years now, and its starting to lose its appeal. At first, facebook was key to contacting and finding classmates whenever we had difficult assignments, wanted to know if class was cancelled, and stuff like that. You could find pple in ur class, or people that were taking the same classes as you in other universities... I think the beginning of the end was when they started letting pple develop facebook applications (I don't know if anybody still remembers the unsuccessful trakzor application, then the news feed just killed it for me. I still go on facebook and all, but I'm not crazy about it anymore...maybe its because I found blogger


3. Blogger
It'll be 9 months since this blogger journey started. I created this blog during my first week of classes- orientation actually. It was supposed to be a place to relieve the tension of school and all. I abandoned my other blog for blogger, now I miss it.

When I joined blogger, I didn't even know that there were other naija bloggers out there, till bighead put a comment on my blog. I went on his page and found blogs like carlang. Pretty soon I found geisha, unNaked, TLK, toochi, catwalq, boorish, and the rest. Every week I found a new and interesting blog and I read all the posts. Infact, I discovered more blogs during my exam weeks than any other time! I was sucked in!! stalking blogs, devouring the words, cried at some blogs, laughed on others. I have developed personalities for my favorite bloggers, had my first blog crush, made quite a few friends. I love the blog personalities/my idea of so many bloggers that I do not want to meet them!

I would never lose my drive to write, infact whenever I have exams and I'm supposed to be busy, that's when I feel like writing all these random stuff that comes to my head (talk about the most inopportune moment!). I'm just not crazy about blogger anymore. It's not imporant tobe first anymore...

4. Clubbing
I think its because of the people I roll with in school. Nowadays, I spend the bulk of my time ~18 - 20 hours(depending on when I have exams) in school. I hang out with the same people almost everytime. My classmates are much older and more mature. Before, clubbing involved a new outfit, some grinding, and no alcohol. The definition of partying has changed significantly for me. For this new crowd, u don't need to "baff" up, u don't have to grind, and alcohol is essential. I don't drink that much though. I don't even think I have the patience to even be searching for a new outfit just cos I want to go clubbing (see #1 above). I guess from now on its house parties, lounges and bars for me!


5. My ex-almost-best friend
We became friends quite unexpectedly. I wanted to get into your mind, and once I got in, it was like I just discovered a secret library of books that JK rowling or Enid Blyton wrote. I wanted to sit down and just devour! what was more? you listened! But something wasn't quite right. It felt like I was pouring more into this friendship than was required/reciprocated. Anyways, we are still friends but I'm so not crazy about you anymore...you can still be my shrink though!

6. Sally
Remember sally right? well, maybe its because she doesn't look like sally anymore, her face is gone, her head is in half, her brain is out... In short, I'm not so crazy about her anymore. oh! and did I mention we sort of figured out how she died? apparently she died from internal bleeding or something that led to it, cos we found a whole lot of caked blood in her when we took her heart out. Alright, I'm done grossing u out!, lol!

PS: Big thanks and hugs to those who left me encouraging messages on my last post. I just felt so drained at that time, you guys don't even know how much I appreciate ur words. The worst is over...I think. phew! Thank God!!!