Here comes the bride...

...maid




While everyone is struggling to be a bride , bumight just wants to be a bridesmaid – first! Now im not saying I want to be the girl in 27 dresses, but I just want to have at least one dress of my own.
I’ve never been a bridesmaid before. First, my extended family is weird. We don’t have that never ending network of cousins and cousins. All my cousins are waaaay older than me, so I was never in their setting. The closest thing I’ve come to being a bridesmaid is being the little bride for one of my auntys.
I still remember the whole experience. Everybody treated me like I was the bride- the attention was great. The only glitch was that the “little groom” (or what do they call them now) was a boy from my class that I totally despised. We had to hold hands (urgh!!!!!!) and even take a picture together. The horror! (to my little mind that is). Ok, im digressing here.

Yes Nefie, u’ve seen it so many times- the wistful eyeing of the train. The envious looks- I confess, that was me! Just that this time, I wasn’t eyeing the bride, I was eyeing the bridesmaids. In their little color coordinated outfits, nice hair and make-up, and their dainty lil flowers.

I was reading the comments on Aloofar's blog when I saw this comment:
see, I'm not asking for too much. I dont even want to be chief bridesmaid, I just want to be a bridesmaid for once in my life!

We have been friends all this while. I’ve shouted first on your blogs, I’ve cried on ur page, laughed with you and maybe given u advice from the wealth of knowledge that I have…not! So why don’t we take this relationship further. Make my wish come true!
Vera, that ur valentine showing up at ur door, u think it was a co-incidence ehn? , or Spicytee, that ur new “admirer” showing up on valentine’s day, na your work?

Afrobabe, Shona…no need to be scared. I will try very much (and it wont be easy, but what are friends for?) not to look hotter than you guys, if that’s what you’re scared of.
So that means I have to start being extra nice to vera, sheesh! (this is going to be hard work o!

at this rate, I might even be close to my own 27 dresses...all I just need to do is..

So I'm looking for new best friends of marriagiable age:
Are you engaged?
do you think/know he's going to propose very soon?
you might be the new best friend I'm looking for!
Leave me a comment after the meep....meep!
NOTE: ALL EXPENSES WILL BE PAID BY THE BRIDE :)


PS: I heard that you guys aren't sending in your nominations for the Naija Bloggers Award? Category B nominations have started. Click on the logo on the side of the page and nominate all your favorite bloggers.



PPS: My wachumacallit has been discovered. Apparently, he's not a prince but he's a senator who knows the queen. He's totally and awesomely in love with me
Funms, he has a brother! But he doesn't have a private jet. My "source" cannot confirm if he's cute cos she hasn't seen him, but I know he just doesn't want to reveal the cuteness to her so tht she doesn't double cross me ;)... don't believe me? check Ibiluv's comment on my last post.
ok, so maybe her comment is not exactly written as i typed it above, but i believe that's what he meant to say!

Send To Phone

Send To Phone

Help! I have a stalker "wachumacalit" *updated*

This post is about another blogger.

www.4v5.blogspot.com

Anyone who scrolls down to the end of my page would notice that I have “feedjit” (trust me, that application is not for the feeble hearted). Anyways, one day I looked through my feedjit and came across an unfamiliar blog. I clicked on the blog, just out of curiosity and found out that it was a private blog. I didn’t sweat it even though I was kinda curious.

Then I noticed that this same person has been coming to my blog consistently. Everytime I put up a new post, the fellow is there like clockwork. At first it was cute, but now its no longer funny. First thing that spooked me out was the person never leaves comments especially since I did mention this in a post i did about this last year June.

So here are the options:

1. The person is someone that knows me in real life, and figured out my identity. That’s no problem, but I have a message for you:

I think you’re a sad coward! Really, if by some fat chance we happen to know each other in real life, then its just…sad.Really, shame on you!!!

2. The person is someone I know on blogville, who just happens to have a private blog. In that case I have a message for you:

You might want to send me a message, just so I know you’re not #1 above, because honey, your behavior is just downright weird. I promise, if you don’t want me to know about your secret blog, I won’t ask for an invite…even though I’d like one.

3. Due to my fabulousity (according to Temite, lol), I’ve caught the eye of one of the Princes of England (because feedjit says this person is from the UK). He is utterly smitten and can’t keep his e-hands off my page, so he comes every night like Romeo and has been throwing an e-stone at my e-window hoping to catch my attention. In that case I have a message for you:

Sweetheart, the time is ripe for you to declare your undying love for me. I have been seeing u hanging around my space, and you have my attention. Lets go flying into the sunset in your private jet, perhaps we can go on a date to one of your beachside resorts…and live happily ever after in one of your castles on the English countryside.

4. This is the most frightening one of all. I actually have a real e-stalker. It feels scary just typing this out. I have never been cyber stalked, or cyber- bullied seriously this is not a joke. So if you’re someone I’ve never met in real life, I have this message for you:

Dude/dudette, LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE! YOU’RE CYBER STALKING ME!!!!

So anonymous stalker, whatever category you fit into, I defy (?) you to send me an email identifying yourself as either one of the four above, cos I KNOW you will read this – just like you read all of my other posts!

Anyways, I prefer to think that #3 is the case. ok, so maybe I'm wrong and its not the Prince but just a multibillionaire without any royal connections. abi? Blogville, this question is for you guys:

does anybody have access to this blog?

Update:

so apparently, someone does know him. The only thing left to do now is to find out if he is an English Prince with a private jet and a countryside Mansion!

specially for you....just because

I have “met” so many people since I started blogging, and I must say you all are an awesome lot. From the very uplifting comments, to the random comments, to the haters, its obvious why Im still hooked (except for the more obvious: I don’t have a life!, but of course we’ll carefully ignore that giant elephant…)

I cannot describe the friendships I have made through my blog, so much so that I dream of u guys sef.

Neways, this post is about one blogger in particular. She’s more than a regular blog stalker, I see her as a friend, even a sister. We chat many times on Google talk and somehow this friendship has grown without my noticing. She just came from behind and stole my heart (where was I?).

I have only spoken to her once , when I called her on her birthday. I didn’t say much. She said something to the effect of her birthday being boring cos she had no friends there and I promised to call on her birthday. She gave me her number and I made good my promise.

I don’t think she knows how much she helped me when randomly one day on Google talk I just poured out everything to her about something I was going through. I just wanted someone to talk to, someone who wouldn’t judge me or give me the cliché responses. After that conversation, I really felt relieved. Don’t know if I said thank you.

I have refused to add her on facebook, cos im guarding my relationship with her jealously. When u read this, I want you to know that I refused to add you on facebook, cos I didn’t want to corrupt what we have. I felt like it wouldn’t be the same if I get to put a face to the name. It’s like that best kept secret that you don’t want to share with the whole world. It’s powerful how you can feel a close connection with someone based on their words alone.

Babes, we’ll both succeed at this together. We are going to crush the Boards together (ok, so maybe not together, a la this morning's conversation cos this was written a while ago).

PS: ur First Aid is in the mail!  ( it'll stll be handy right?)

And even though you don’t know my real name, I’m glad that you’re there. I don’t know how long you’re going to be there for,(consider this emotional blackmail, u have to be there for a loooong time! ) but I’m happy that you are.


Thanks girl! (click on the link for blogger in question)

I'll take that miracle for $50 please...

I PRAYED FOR A MIRACLE

The time? JSS3, better known as 9^th grade to those in the United States. Everybody had come back from the long holidays with bras and pads – except bumight. I mean, my best friend, second bestie and even Tibet (my small breasted friend) was sporting a bra – except yours truly.

So I did what any awkward dejected left out kid would do- I snuck out of boarding school to go buy myself a bra. My school had both day students and boarders, so if you were back by 3pm, nobody knew u snuck out.

By 2:45pm (of course I’m not sure of the time, but it sounds sweeter this way), I was the proud owner of my very first bra.

White, lacy, thin strapped ingenious work of man.

32A.

Have u seen those things?

I meant 32A bras dummy!

Of course there really wasn’t that much to put inside. So I did what any faith filled, bible believing young’un would do – I prayed for a miracle. I mean if He could feed the five-thousand, turn water into wine, walk on water, turning these agbalumos into oranges shouldn’t be a big deal right?

Well, I asked for oranges, I got Tangerines. In everything, they say, give thanks.

I WANT A MIRACLE

That was over 10 years ago. Slowly, my tangerines became oranges.

Do I hear a halleluyah?

Fast forward to now. 34B later, trouble is, I’m no longer the small thing of JSS3, so these oranges look like tangerines on me! Its just not appropriate

I NEED A MIRACLE

Now I do like my twins, but sometimes I wonder how it would feel like to have bigger boobs. I don’t even want a KKK, I just want to be able to show cleavage, when the outfit calls for it.

World's biggest breasts: Sheyla Hershy, 38KKK

Everytime I browse through pictures on facebook and see all those cleavages jumping out at me from the photos, its just not fair!

Even worse is seeing chicks that are smaller than me with obvious cleavage is just depressing. I mean, common! She’s not more than a 100 pounds, how does she have DDs?

I’m tired of being marginalized by all my well-endowed friends.

I gas to be bigs!

So my solution?

I’M BUYING A MIRACLE

Get your mind out of the gutter! I don’t have the money for silicone, we’re in an economic crisis silly! Yeah, I’m buying my miracle…from Victoria’s Secret.

Voila: The miracle bra!

Victoria Secret Miracle bra


Results of the poll
I'm quite disappointed in u blogville peeps, more than half of you think I made up the story!
Anyways, here is the deal:
1. I did have an encounter with an agbero, so i didnt make up the story
2. obviously, the agbero i met wasnt Fineboy Agbero, but he sure was feeling like a fineboy
3. I did meet the real FBA also.

Send To Phone

Send To Phone

Send To Phone

Send To Phone