Notable 09 from '09

As 2009 draws to a close, it gets increasingly difficult NOT to be nostalgic. A little while back I started a list of all the things that made us talk in 2009.

#9. lightupnigeria: Any nigerian web crawler worth his salt would have heard about the online movement that swept (and is still sweeping through) Naija. LightupNigeria was the brain child of Amara Nwankpa and to some extent Eldee the Don that got all of twitterNaija tweeting. Soon enough we were noticed by CNN who did a special on the cause. For getting almost 90% (this is a rough estimate) of nigerian tweeters to don a burning green lamp (created by blogville's own genius Seye Kuyinu) next to their avatars, LightupNigeria makes this list.

#8.Jenifa: As a card carrying member of the YFB on twitter (yoruba film board) i have watched plenty of movies in 2009, but I guess we can safely say that the one movie everybody watched, heard, tried to watch, loved, tried NOT to watch in 2009 was Jenifa. Its like, as in, you know, it was everywhere!

#7. twitter: This year was definitely the year twitter came and blew facebook out of the water! 140 characters and still going on strong!

#6. kanye west: Kanye West seemed to have solidified his spot in the anals (pun intended) of history on the fateful award day when he got up on the stage grabbed the mic from Taylor swift

#5. michael jackson: There were a lot of deaths in 2009, but the one that shook us all the most was MJ's death, and in true Kanye West speak, imma let u finish, but Micheal Jackson had the best death of all time!

#4. Tiger woods: Im sure a lot of people cheated on their wives in 2009, had a one night stand, maybe even had a mistress or two, but Tiger took it to a whole new level! 13 mistresses and still counting. Nobody is giving Tiger the piss about having extra marital affairs, but attempting to cover it up and sound like its nobody's business just blew things out of proportion.

#3. yaradua: And in the midst of all this one would wonder where our president is right? only in Nigeria would you have a sick president who is out of the country who refuses to hand over to his #2. One can argue, and be correct within limits, that what was he doing when he wasnt sick? afterall they call d man baba go-slow. The president is yet to address the country about d panty bomber situation, the last I heard he's supposed to be thumb printing d budget from his sick bed in Saudi Arabia. o well, we talked about Mr President a lot in 2009 and from all indications we shall still be talking about him in 2010.

#2. Umar Farouk Muttalab: The wanna-be Christmas day panty bomber was a very last minute entrant into this list, and from Nigeria, to the US, the whole world has been talking about him. It is indeed very sad cos I never thought the day would come when I would see a nigerian born and bred suicide bomber. I mean we do yahoo, we do demons (lol) but we do NOT do suicide bombings. Not only has the idiot put the country under the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

#1. Swagger: If there is one word that should be allowed to die a very peaceful death, it would be the word "swaggar". Damn! when TI proudly proclaimed that no-one on the corner had swagger like him, I guess he didnt know what he started, cos Nigerians definitely set out to prove him wrong! From Terry G telling us to "ginga our swagga" to it oozing out of DPrince's body., damn! swagga was everywhere in 2009! Hopefully everyone has maxed out their swagga credit, and 2010 shall be free of swagger.

Anyways, that was my top 09 for 09 List. What would have made yours? Here's to 2010 ushering in the best of everything we want!

Almost made the list:
Obama, Koko Mansion, Octomom, Rita, Fuel scarcity, Recession, Trending Topics, The W experience, H-factor, Exams, twitboo, breakups, weddings, Bffs, Verastically Speaking, Sarah Palin, Lady Gaga, ....

Merry Christmas....NOT!

yeah, I'm not feeling this christmas at all. This is the first christmas in a long time that I have not spent in Nigeria with family. The last christmas I spent like this I was uber depressed cos I was homesick and my boyfriend broke up with me. I had akready planned out how depressed I was going to be on christmas in advance, thank Goodness for friends that have been trying to fustrate my plans.

All my close friends have travelled to naija and I'm totally unbashedly hating on ALL of you who got to travel to naija. I wish BA would cancel your flight or your luggage'll get lost or something. If all else fails, I take solace in knowing that y'all would still come back in January to face the bitter cold! can i get an Amen somebody? (cc Sir Scribbles).

This year I didnt even bother making any stupid christmas list, cos the fat, bald old man refused to bring ANY of the things I wrote on my list. The only thing I got on that list was my stethescope and I freaking bought it by myself! Like I was good all year! awesome, if you will, but what did I get? Nothing. So this year, I've decided to be bad, and I've been B-A-D, spank me!
o well, I will be in grinch mode for the rest of the day, but while you're chowing down on jollof rice, and battling the thigh of Jaxter the turkey/chicken, and prolly washing it down with a bottle of chilled coke in d midst of family and friends, do not forget the reason for the season.

We Three Kings of Orient are...

I'm sure everyone who reads this blog has heard about the autotune sensation that is T-pain. In case you havent, lemme refresh your memory *presses F5* dark, dreads, well built...got it?

Now I'm sure you also know Timaya. I'm sure you know him, them call him timaya, just because he's getting higher....

however, do you know what Tpain and Timaya have in common? If you said their names both start with the letter T, you'd be right. If you said they are both musicians, once again, you'd be right. If you said they could pass for twins, you'd be right once more!

However, I'm sure there's one thing about them that you dont know. They are actually triplets! I bet u d

idnt know that! and I found the third person on....wait for it

on Twitter!

yeah, I found their triplet on twitter, no one but my sweet poraro Onimartin!

well, lemme give you the full story. you see, what had happened was, their mom was chilling in downtown portharcourt when she met their dad, an American immigrant who worked for Shell Petroleum....one thing led to another which led to rough play, and before she knew it she was pregnant.
When she told their dad, he was a little excited, but then she told him she was going to have triplets. Then he flipped!
3 kids! hell no!!! He told her they only did it once and so she couldnt be pregnant with 3 kids, and he was going to take the one child that belonged to him. He took the first baby that popped out, whom he named Faheem Rasheed, but we all know as Tpain.
Their mom later moved to Lagos because of the unrest in PHC, before Onimartin "escaped" to the United States.

This is very coded gist that you might not hear anywhere else! but as per the Paparazzi of blogville, I had to bring you this gist in gbona feli feli form!.....aside from the fact that Onimartin called me "too chicken to blog about him"

I'm going to be writing a lot of posts this december God willing, cos I have to get out all these pent up posts!



follow onimartin on twitter: www.twitter.com/onimartin
and follow me too!

What's your sign?

I really have been neglecting my blog of late, and I wouldn't be quick to jump to blaming twitter for it. The truth of the matter is that I've been so busy this academic year, especially as I'm in the hospital most of the times and not on my computer as I used to be for the past two years.

Yesterday was World Aids day and I must really commend my twitter folks (yet again) for really going all out. I read countless of tweets about AIDS, getting tested, knowing your status etc and you had to be deaf, blind or totally illiterate to have missed the message.

I was at work yesterday, and I casually mentioned to my colleagues in the lounge 'its world aids day guys, lets go downstairs and get tested". The responses I received were not really on the positive side (no pun intended). Even medical students were reluctant to go get tested (for free, i might add).

I decided to brave it and go get tested, cos i felt kinda hypocritical to be spreading the message and still be reluctant to go get tested. There were a few things i noticed while i was at it:

1. I was secretly hoping that I wouldnt come across anybody i knew.

2. While waiting, I almost felt ashamed. It was like if I saw someone I knew, I felt like they would judge me or assume that I had engaged in risky behaviour (which m

ost people WOULD assume)

3. while taking the test, my life flashed before my eyes, LOL!

4. I had to wait 20 mins for the results and i had to force myself to thi

nk positive thoughts (no pun intended again :D)

5. If I have learnt one thing from my years of blogging, its that if Im thinking something, chances are I'm not alone.

There's a subconscious stigma attached to being tested, which should not be so. At a time I was trying to work on getting oraquick testing kits and getting people on nigerian campus to undergo voluntary testing. I havent abandoned that project yet, but i wonder if people would be willing to voluntarily undergo testing.

If you think Ignorance is bliss, try Knowing- its the bestest feeling in the world. Get tested before the year runs out. Like my good friend Jenifa would say "spread d nuus (news), not d firus (virus)"!

PS: I've had a poll before that i lost because i changed my layout, can you pretty please take the poll again? thanks!!!! (you guys rock!)

The "unadulterated" Samson and Delilah Story

In case you missed it on twitter yesterday:

There was once a great man from Israel named Samson. He was a nazarite - no razor had ever touched his head.

One day, Samson was in Timah and one of the philistine women caught his eye, and samson went "See this lepa, lepa to bad oh". Immediately, he called up his father and told his father he wanted her. His father said to him "Isnt there any Israelite woman you can marry? you know that marrying from the philistines is against our traditions. But samson was adamant, He said to delilah "Even if them say na taboo, you go be my boo".

Anyways, to cut the long story short, Samson and Delilah became an item. When the philistines heard, they approached delilah with 1000 pieces of silver (Judas take note, u betrayed the lord for 12!) and asked her to find out the secret of samson's strength.

One day when Samson had his head on Delilah's lap, she asked him "Tell me the how you can be bound securely". Samson replied "If you tie me up with 7 bowstrings that have not been dried I shall be weak". When Samson slept, Delilah did just as he explained, but Samson woke up and broke free.

Then Delilah approached him again, "Tell me how you can be overcome" Samson said to her again, "If you braid my hair into a fabric on your loom and tighten it, I shall be weak" Again, Samson slept and Delilah did just as he said. Samson woke up and broke free once more.

Deliah then said " You are making fun of me and telling me lies, shey na like this we go dey dey?"

So samson told her "If you tie me with new ropes that have never been used". so once again he slept in Delilah's lap and she did as he told her. Yet again he broke free.

Then Delilah approached him pouting "How can you claim to love me and not share your secrets with me!" But samson comforted her saying, "I'm so into you, so much I think I might be losing it"

So he told her "Since I've been born, no razor has ever touched my head, if you were to shave my locks, I shall be as powerless as any other man"

Once more, Samson slept in Delilah's lap, and while he was asleep she shaved his hair, and called in the philistines to tie him up. They tied him up and gouged out his eyes.

When Samson woke up, he discovered that he was powerless, he cried out "Now its all gone! o n dun mi oh God e dey pain me".

The philistines carried him to their hall and gathered and asked Samson to play sport for dagon their god. Samson was tied to two huge pillars. he closed his eyes and prayed " Jehovah, Jehovah, i no fit shout" and So he leaned on the two towers with all his might and the towers collapsed killing all the philistines inside.

The last words on samson's mouth was "idobale mo wa oba aiyeraiye, idobale mo wa oba aiye orun, Idobale mo wa Oba oni, Oba ola, titi lailai" And with that, Samson killed more philistines in death than he killed while he was alive.

Question: What should Samson have said to Delilah when she asked him the SECOND time?

Answer: Na Who born the maga!

Piss on Bumight Day!

I dont know if I mentioned it on here, but I'm done with my pediatric rotation, and I'm rounding up my psychiatry rotation. As part of your grade, you have to interview a patient in front of an Attending, then present the patient. You get graded on both. I'd been feeling nervous about the interview the whole time and I finally did it today.

I went to go grab the patient I was supposed to be interviewing , the patient was schizophrenic. To put things into perspective, lemme give you background information. when naija people say "are you mad"? they are talking about schizophrenics.

First, psychotic patients are the toughest to interview, especially in a setting where you are being graded. Normally, I'd just have let him talk but in this situation, I had to ellicit certain information from the person.

First he thought that the EFCC were after him and had the satellite monitoring him. He believed he was a physicist and that the Nigerian government had given him 25 million naira which he donated to the hospital.

Every time I asked him a question, he would go round in circles and sometimes come back and answer the question, or just plain didnt answer my question. eg

Bumight: "so what brought you to the hospital"

Patitent: "there are different parts of the body. do you have an imagination?....I'm asking you a question. do you think before you talk"

Bumight: "The focus is on you right now, im..."

Patient: "i asked you a question...."

and on and on, and the interview dragged. Bear in mind that this was a timed interview. I had 30 mins to interview him, same as I would have had for a more cooperative patient. Anyways, so there were two of us being tested and the first person really got grilled by the attending physician. By the time it was my turn, he had left and so he had the residents grade me.

They asked me questions which I answered for the most part, and he kept going at it cos he was looking for a place to trip me and I wasnt really giving him much chance.

I felt so-so after the interview, but I wished the attending was there to grade me, cos I feel that the residents would be harsher on me because they would feel that I had it easier/more laid back oral exam. Of course the field wasnt a level one because I had a more difficult patient than my patner did, and she got a lot more pressure as it was the Attending that was grilling her.

This is not a pity post or a rationalization defence mechanism (cc Mizchif, lol) but I almost felt like I didnt have the opportunity to be happy about the outcome of my exam because of the difference in circumstance with my partner's exam.

To top that off, after the exam I had to go to clinic for another Attending and the secretary there was also trying to take a piss on me. trying to excercise her non-existent powers. like "twitch! step back you're NOT the doctor, u're just d freaking secretary!" Dunno why some people like drinking garri for other people's problems. I really had to hold my tongue, because if I had said something I'd have definitely ended up being in the wrong. She kept giving me side-eye throughout the day, like I cared! Anyways, that was my last day working with her, so I just brushed it off!

I'm going to write a proper post about about my experiences in psychiatry (Except you guys dont wanna hear about it - in that case I'll keep my stories of patients hitting on me to myself :D)

gosh! I've missed blogging.

Photo credit: here

PS: thanks for bringing it to my attention Sugarking, the description of my patient (written in bold) has obviously been changed (dude aint nigerian o! lol) but hopefully you guys get the idea. (delusions of grandiosity, persecution blah blah)

A blog in many parts: Dear Jesus

a little over a year ago, I opened my "Dear Jesus" blog. A couple of people have asked for access to the blog, and I had to decline because I felt it was something on a very primal personal level between me and the One to which the blog is addressed. This post is made up of excerpts from posts spanning over one year.

...ok, so we've never really talked about men before. It just seems like something you talk about with a mother, not a Father. I guess since you're the Father of all fathers, then I guess we can talk about this...

... I remember a time when i was afraid to let you choose for me, thinking you'll choose a boring short pastor who would only want missionary style sex. Lol. So since You know me,...

...i havent read my bible in a long time. I know daddy, its sad- obviously not meeting up with the "meditating on it" daily part....

...Daddy, im committing this into your hands, cos i know i cant do it by myself. Please do not put me to shame....

...I especially lift my friend xxx unto Your hands. Even as he's trying to find himself spiritually , I pray you erase all the doubts in his mind. I pray that You lead him back to you.
Even though I sometimes have the same questions that he has, I pray you continue to keep me. Please dont give up on me.
I pray for Zena's brother who has a brain tumor. I pray that you heal him completely....

...Do you remember the time I cried to you about the summer research thing? I was down and frustrated....

...I dont know what to tell you again...not that u dont know already, lol!...

...Sometimes I wonder how you look at me and what you think of me. I have tried to understand you for many years, and I'm still trying...

I'm thinking about doing a preceptorship in the summer. Neurology, Surgery or cardiovascular. what do you think? I have to study now...

...I'm going to strive to be the daughter you want me to be.
I love you Daddy,

B

thinking of having 3 children? this is why you should make it four!

I come from a family of five: my parents, two sisters and myself. In many ways, three seemed the perfect number of children.

Just enough to fit into the backseat of a surburban sedan with the parents in front.

Just enough to fit into the bed in the "middle room"

Just enough

Just enough for about everything and anything. And everyone was happy- everyone but me.

Yes, my elder sister was happy. of course she was happy, she was the

first born. The womb opener. She was the one that had the lavish naming ceremonies, the ones with the thick photo albums. I mean, there's a picture of the first time she cried, her first steps, and I'm willing to bet the first time she shat! She had the lavish 1 year birthday party, so much clothes... so of course she was happy.

Then there's my younger sister. The last born. The mummy's pet. In m

y house, we refer to her as my mother's child. That one is joined at the hip to her mother. We are only three, but this was the Joseph of our family (yeah, if it weren't so obvious, my mom would have bought her a coat of many colors!). So of course she was happy as well.

Then there's poor old me. The middle child. I didnt want to be mummy's pet, and daddy didn't want a pet either. Even worse, the age difference between my younger sister and I is just 16 months. Meaning that before I got any meaningful attention, "Joseph" was born. Hence, I grew up with the classic Middle child syndrome.

To make matters worse, my two sisters were very close growing up, and probably are still close. Growing up, I felt out of the loop. I mean, they both liked mummy while I was on the daddy team. So from an early age, I took solace in my books,

They say middle children lack drive, arent over achievers, relationships ae not of high importance to them , often end up alone, err, those words dont describe me. The only aspect I can relate with is being starved for attention. I keep my friends close - like, i really love my friends. I'm a very cuddly girlfriend, and yes- i love it when I'm being showered with attention. Hey, I'm a middle child starved for love, remember?

I think my drive and passion for my academics while growing up was in a bid to get attention. Right now, everyone in my house is quick to throw their love at my feet, but the damage has already been done. I'm not complaining though.

Note, if you're the 3rd child out of 5, you're NOT a middle child. If you're 2 out of 3, and ur siblings are of the same opposite sex, this does not apply to you. The worst hit are the 3 boys or 3 girls scenario.

Why am i writing this? First, this is a call for all middle children out there to bond together, lets take on the world! lol. Seriously though, one of my doctors talked about this, and I was prompted to google it. Now I know I'm not alone. I'm not crazy! this is real!! my friends have laughed at me for ages while I explain it, but finally I've been vindicated!!!

One thing I've learnt about blogville is that you are not unique. If you say "everytime I wake up, I jump up 3 times and then have a glass of water, I bet there's another blogger out there who does the exact same thing! lol. So I'm sure there are others out there. On the real though, are you a middle child? please share your experiences, and yes feel free to hate on the first borns and spoilt ass last borns too!

PS: they say the best match for middle children are last born children...err...so...

Patients are celebrities

Working in the hospital has taught me a few things about myself, medical students and life in general. I have gotten over the initial shock of walking into a patient's room and "acting" like I'm a real doctor. Sometimes, I can even answer some of the patients questions without consulting my Attending.

Through this all, I have realized that the patients are the celebs in this whole game. (life in itself is a game, innit?). However, just like typical Hollywood/nollywood life, there are grades of celebs. doubt it? just ask Paris Hilton!

The D list Celeb

These are the patients that typically come in to the clinic. You would most likely find them in your regular family practice clinic or the pediatric outpatient clinic. They are usually there for the well child visit, medication refill, annual physical, and those type of things.

9 out of 10 times, nothing is wrong with them, and the history and physical exam shows nothing.

That's a good thing, right?

wrong!

wrong, because to the averag medical student, these patients are boring. I mean, if I wanted to listen to a normal heart or lung I could listen to mine or my roommates' right?

ok, I'm kidding. You also learn a lot from these people, because by the time you've listened to your 50th normal heart or lung, when you finally hear that one abnormal one, you instantly recognize it!. So i guess D list celebs are good for something afterall!

C list celebs

More interesting than D list celebs are the C list celebs. You also mostly find them in outpatient clinics or your regular primary care setting. They are the ones that come in with a complaint. there's actually something wrong with them yay! (i know, i know, this job messes u up)

However, (there has to be a catch, right?) their chief complaint is usually something along the lines of fever, cough, runny nose, diarrhea - pretty much mostly stuff that's common.

Fortunately, C list cases are the type that frequently show up on your exam, and I have mine in a little less than 2 weeks. oh well...

B list

These are the people that come in with a textbook case of a particular illness. Like a guy who comes in with some major congestive heart failure. You hear the crackles in the lungs, you actually feel an enlarged liver, maybe he even has some ascites, and at the point where you're almost about to pass out from orgasmic joy, you listen to his heart and you do hear a murmur. sweet!

The icing on the cake is if your patient is actually a good historian. He tells you step by step everything that happened, and in your head you can mentally check off everything you hear.

I had my very first B list celeb a few weeks ago: A little boy that was admitted for elevated blood lead levels. sweet thing was he actually lived in a house that was constructed in the 1940s and the house was currently under renovation.

A list

yeah, saved the best for last.

The ultimate A list patient is the one that has this very rare disorder that you've only read about in textbooks, but nobody sees. The type that the incidence is probably 1 in 10,000. Even seasoned physicians get excited when they see an A list patient - the type of patient that you only see one or two cases (maybe four) in your entire 20 years career.

I haven't come across my A list celebrity patient yet, but when I do, I"ll be sure to let you guys know!

I'm suing my mother

There are very few childhood dreams I remember with clarity , especially the ones that recurred more than once.

I am outside the house playing with my neighbors. We started playing police and Thief and we’re running round a compound that looks like ours. All of a sdden, the scene changes and we’re in a field. There’s a little gutter by the side, and I turn to damola my neighbour who’s with me “lemme quickly pee here b”

So I bend down, hike my little gown and pee in the gutter. . Suddenly I feel wetness around my leg and my eyes open…

Yes, you guessed it! I’m still on my bed!!! Immediately I start crying because I know what that means for me- Lots of ridicule from my mom!. I was one of those children who didn’t stop bedwetting till almost 8 years old. I can’t begin to recount the hell I went through at home because of this. I remember my mom telling me that she was going to tie an empty can of milk to my leg and call all my friends and tell them to sing for me if I ever wet the bed again.

Today, I had to listen to a presentation on enuresis given by one of the residents that was in the afternoon clinic today. Here were a few highpoints:

• Some of the reasons for Enuresis (bedwetting) include: a small bladder, frequent Urinary tract infections, brain maturation delay, sleep disorders etc.
• It is actually a diagnosis in the DSM IV
• It tends to run in families. Most children have a parent who was a bedwetter. If both parents were, there’s a >80% chance that the child would also be a bedwetter.
• Drugs can be prescribed for the treatment
• There are also behavioural classical conditioning techniques that can be used to help stop it

Well, my mom (like many parents) took the behavioral route in trying to stop it. Only that instead of using an alarm to help me train me to recognize my full bladder, she threatened to beat me many times (cant remember if she actually did). I was made to feel like there was something wrong with me. So did my mum’s tauntings, threats, and everything produce any significant results?

This time around, I’m with my sisters in the house, sometimes in the room when I feel the fullness in my bladder. I’m happy that I was able to sense it, and then make my way to the bathroom. I sit on the toilet…when I remember to actually double check whether it’s a dream or not. I open my eyes, check my surroundings and I’m sure I’m on the toilet seat. I let out a huge sigh of relief for averting a potential crisis. I let out the pee and only that instead of going into the toilet, I feel the wetness around my legs…

Oh shit!

I had many of such days. On days like that, I would cry. My mom caught me on one of those occasions crying and I told her what happened. I did feel my bladder fullness. I tried to wake myself up, I went to the bathroom ONLY THAT IT ALL HAPPENED IN MY DREAM!

A lot of children start bedwetting whenever something traumatic happens in the family like a divorce, birth of a new child, bullying in school etc. I was a middle child and that was traumatic enough!

Anyways, I love my mom or else I’d sue her for emotional distress, psychologic scarring and…blogville lawyers, what else can I sue for?

2. Blogville mummies, (solomonsydelle, fluffycutething, etc) how did you handle bedwetting in your kids

3. Blogville residents, I’m sure I’m not the only one who was a bedwetter, do you care to share any such experience?

too lazy to think of a title

I'm having one of those days again. Days when everything is just blah. I call it my "nobody-loves-me" day. My phone doesnt ring, no emails, nothing. Then i convince myself that its because nobody loves me. On such day i may/may not cry myself to sleep. Do not feel sorry for me or leave any "eiya" comments. Its a phase, and it'll pass. I usually wake up the next day feeling ok.

I'm tired of life. sometimes i feel like its just an act. dont worry, I'm not suicidal.

A friend once mentioned to me that i dont write personal stuff on my blog. She said my blog entertains her, but doesnt divulge anything too personal. I feel she's spoilt. She used to read me when i had a more personal blog.

I'm just getting used to sleeping on my own. I remember a time that i couldnt go to sleep without cuddling up. *sigh* I still sleep with so many pillows. most of them have gone flat. I think i need a cuddle buddy. any takers? o well, i guess im going to invest in a stuffed animal. or who's sending me one?

SHE (nope, her name is "she") wrote a sequel to my last post. A must read if i can say so myself. check it out here.

the good part about this is that im going to hate this post in the morning, and im more likely to update soon. i think i need to go catch some sleep now.

Why?

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on my previous post! I heart you guys, you guys really make me believe in myself. couldnt get round to replying all the comments. im so sowee.

I wrote this a few years ago and thought to share it on blogger since i am in no mood to type a new post...and lets face it copying and pasting is a lot easier!

PS: names have been changed to attempt protect the author's annonymity...from those that have read the story before!

The movie was a chick flick, and so Tunde wasn't really interested. Dinner was a lot better. He had no idea Sister Angela was such a good cook. It was pounded yam and vegetable stew (efo riro). The vegetable stew was like nothing he had ever tasted in his life. There were all sorts of assorted meat, fish, shrimp, locust beans, in short, it was heaven. This was definitely one thing he liked about her. Not that she was bad looking either. Angela had dark chocolate skin, and it seemed to glow even more tonight. Her hair was not covered tonight, and he could see that she had long black hair. He had always been a sucker for long hair. Only if he could just reach over, and run his fingers through her hair.

He got up and packed the plates they used to eat, and headed to the kitchen. He dumped the plates in the sink and returned to the movie- and Angela. This time, instead of sitting on the armchair across from her, he plopped on the couch right beside her. She seemed so engrossed in the movie, and that made her look even more beautiful. Was it the wine he had been drinking earlier before she came in, or something else, cos all of a sudden he seemed drawn to her like never before. Heck! Before this evening, he had never even looked at her as a woman. He must have been blind not to have noticed, she had cleavage, and the blouse she was wearing only emphasized it more.

He didn't know when he reached across, and before he knew it his hand was in her hair.
"Bro Tunde, what's wrong? I just had my hair done o, don't mess it up, or else.."

"What if I mess it up? How about I mess it up, and then take you to the salon to get it done again fair enough?"

She giggled. Her giggle was sexy as hell. It seemed like his hand had lost contact with his brain, cos his hand was now sliding down her neck and shoulders.

"Bro Tunde now, we're just getting to the climax of the movie, and I don't want to miss this scene, stop disturbing me"

In her head, Angela's brain was racing overtime. She liked this guy very much, but things were getting too close too fast.

"C'mon Angela, chill out, I know you want this as much as I do, relax", he coaxed.
"Tunde, please leave me alone"

By this time Angela was frantically trying to get away, but Tunde was bigger and stronger, and deftly removing her clothes. Before she knew it, her blouse was gone, so was her bra, and Tunde was already working on her jeans. Tunde had her pinned on the cream rug in front of the TV. Tears were streaming down her face as Tunde forcefully had his way with her. He didn't even seem to be bothered by her kicks and screams. When he was done, he rolled off her.

There was blood everywhere. She gathered her clothes and ran from the living room, trying to find her way to the nearest bathroom. She locked the door, and hurriedly cleaned herself up. By the time she reentered the living room, Tunde was snoring in front of the TV.

She didn't disturb him, but quietly let herself out of the house.

Third year: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Yes! I passed my board exams and I've started clinicals. This is the year where I decide what I want to do with my life (very scary sturves). Right now, I pretty much am as undecided as i can be. We rotate among Pediatrics, Surgery, Medicine, Ob/gyn, Family medicine, Psychiatry, and a couple that ive forgotten jare.

So this blog will feature either a Rate this section for each clerkship I do- pretty much a summary of the rotation, interesting stuff ive seen etc. That way I guess it'll help me narrow it down. Anyways back to:

The good

1. I'm 1 year 10 months away from that M.D. Actually from now on, you can call me Bumight M. cos I'm already halfway there, lol!

* No more lectures! Third year is strictly clinicals. Pretty much like you're working at the hospital, but instead of getting paid, you pay the school tuition!

* Seeing Patients. Very different from the whole first and second year patient contact. Its like the training wheels are off.

on my first day, my attending pretty much threw me in a room with the patient and told me to go for it! you learn as you move on. Now im getting used to seeing patients by myself without little or no supervision.

* Shopping! yes since you have to dress proffesionally everyday, it means my everyday wear of jeans doesnt work. I've had to go get some work savvy clothes and sensible cute shoes. The people on twitter will bear me witness to what happened when i chose cute over sensible!

* An excuse to get a new phone. Actually, i need a new phone jare, Tmobile is messing up with my love social life with their no-service bull! And since I need a phone that i can put med applications, organize my life, etc...perfect timing! why am i even trying to justify myself? :)

The bad

* They tricked us! For each clerkship rotation, there's one day of lectures per week. I know its only one day, but I dont think i went to any lectures since the second week of second year. For the past two weeks I've been struggling to stay awake in class.

* Sleeping in is not an option: you have to wake up everyday and go in to work whether u feel like it or not. Gone are my days of waking up whenever I open my eyes, now my alarm clock is working overtime!

* Because you are graded subjectively, you have to always be on your gaurd when interacting with attending physicians, cos you dont know what you might do and someone puts it on your evaluation and then u're screwed!

The ugly

* Pimping: being pimped is not fun my people. Pimping is when your attending physician randomly fires you with questions. So you have to be prepared at all times which means reading extensively on certain subjects you might get pimped on. (naija people call it viva)

*Scutwork : Scutting is when people on the higher rungs of the ladder (interns, residents, attendings) send you on random errands that have nothing to do with medicine, like sending you to go get coffee, faxing stuff, getting xrays, etc. You dont have to do scutwork, but sometimes it cannot be avoided.

That's it so far!

Hooking up with your Summer Naija dude

seeing as the recession hit blogville, NOTE: this post is totally tongue-in-cheek. It is not to be taken seriously. Also, a huge sense of humor is required for your reading pleasure.

So everywhere I turn to, everyone is lamenting on the total lack of marriageworthy/dateable/responsible naija men. Like seriously, the Naija man is becoming just like the Proverbs 31 woman (A virtuous woman, who can find?) .They are starting to seem like an endangered species of some sort. So, I did the research, and voila! fairy godmother to the rescue!

1. Be in the Zone

I guess this has to come first, because every other thing would not work right if #1 is not a given. By the "zone" i mean you have to be in one of the following states: Maryland, Baltimore (i realize baltimore is not a state, but for this purposes, they count as one!), Texas (preferrably Dallas or Houston), California, New york. Being in any other state reduces your chances to like 30% - cos everyone knows that these states are the popping states for naija dudes during the summer. I cant speak for jand/canadian/ireland/every-other-place people.

Of course it doesnt matter that Maryland guys are keeping in line with the whole stop-global-warming theme i.e they are getting recycled. However, it doesnt marra- a man is a man shey? I wont even speak about the razz Texas dudes. If you're in Cali, I hear your chances are great if you go to naming ceremonies - I heard ni o! but be prepared to spend money on the aso-ebi for the baby showers and naming ceremony!

2. Go shopping for food

nah! the point is not to actually eat the food! - and before you head out to your walmart/safeway/giant/ - hold on! i meant go shopping at the African store. Trust me on this.

There is hardly anytime I go to the african store that i dont get hollered at, not minding that the pick up lines are usually centered around

"what are u doing here?",

"you dont look like you cook"

freaking idiots! but if you end up with another woman's husband who's just there cos his wife sent him (or better still, his wife is on aisle 8 in the same store), you're totally on your own (OYO) because i didnt gaurantee that you'd meet single men - afterall, i only said naija men!

PS: if you're going to do the African Store move, I heard sunday afternoon is a good time to set the traps- oops! i meant go shopping. Again, I heard ni o! apparently, people usually "branch" at the African store on their way back from church.

3. Go out

- and i dont mean to the clubs, bars, and stuff. Everyone knows that summer is barbeque season. Here's where Baltimore comes in. Even Vera can attest to the fact that that's all they do in Baltimore- BBQ all day! i keed u not!

speaking of Vera, I have to do a post about how obsessed that girl is with me! seriously! but since this post is not titled Hooking up with Bumight, I think I'll keep it moving.

Like I said BBQs! I haven't heard about awon Texas and Cali people, but Baltimore people? its all about the BBQs, like if those folks dont do BBQs every weekend, trust me, some of them will be falling sick and the ERs in baltimore'll be crowded ---> tax payers' money being wasted---> a lot of serious complications. so we've just freed them with their BBqs.

4. save up for a trip...

...to Naija Reunion.

*sigh*

this one is a very testy one. the Nigerian Reunion is like a party/event organized for people in the diaspora. The underlying theme of the whole event is hooking up walahi! Again, I cannot vouch for the quality of the hook ups because the pics of naija reunion that ive been seeing all over the internet/facebook are very "suspect". Sometimes I be thinking its a JAB reunion, but what do i know? small girl like me!

I think this year's reunion was in Vegas, and you know what they say about stuff that happens in vegas? again I heard o! who am I to give u fake gist or anything? *innocent look* but you can look it up yourself here

5. Take a bite of the Big Apple

Remember how we had agbalumo season, and mango season and seasons for other fruits? yup! Summer time is the season for naija dudes in New York. however, you got to know somebody that knows someborri that knows someone....who's throwing a house parry. yup! thats how they roll in the N-Y. you know what they say: a facebook picture is worth a thousand words, and trust me, I've seen plenty! however (y'all knew the "but" was coming right?). Let's do this with maths.

given Summer time = Internship period

and New york is directly proportional to Fortune 500 companies

now here's the question: Given that fortune 500 companies like to increase diversity by accepting black students for summer internships

Black schools = Prime recruitment site for these companies = recruitment of smart students= Naija students

2 plus 2 is equal to 22 niyen! voila! NY is populated with smart sexy ass naija brothers running all over wall streets IN SUITS!

There you have it! let it not be said that Bumight never hooked a sista..or bruva up!

Im outties!

Can't stop me

hot lonely monday night

9:31 pm to be exact. I sauntered into my kitchen to get a snack for the night.

All I wanted was a sandwich

A sandwich.

that would be perfect. I opened the fridge, and wait for it...

I HAD NO BREAD!

no freaking bread. How am i supposed to make a sandwich without bread?

poof!

just like that. My dream of eating a sandwich was crushed like that.. and all it took was an empty fridge. because you know what? only people with bread make sandwiches, and only people with bread who make sandwiches eat sandwiches.

So what did I do?

I marched back to the same empty fridge and ate the meat.

yes, I ate the Hillshire Farm Deli Select Ultra thin Honey Roasted Turkey breast.

just like that.

without the bread.

I took not one, not two but three pieces. All 50 calories of it.

And i feel good. cos who's to let a loaf of bread dash your dreams. i didnt even need a loaf, all i wanted was 2 freaking pieces!

oh yes! it'll have to take more than two non-existent pieces of sandwich to stop me.

On that fateful day, president Obama did not have a fly-swatter, but when that fly flew by, he didnt let that stop him, he went for it - Yes we can!

And when Tuface found himself in a room with the girl (all five of them, at different times of course) and he did not have a condom, oh no! he didn't let that stop him! - nothing dey happen!

So, with a contented grin on my face, I settle back onto my couch to keep reading the Jessica Brody book i was reading - contented in the fact that two pieces of bread could not stop me!

hmph!

This is what happens when you're...

16 and Pregnant

The things you do when boredom hooks you - I've been watching this program fr a couple of days. Thanks to Mtv, and I guess thanks are in order for them showing this side of the equation after showing the "super sweet 16" half of it. I guess everything is not so sweet when you're 16.

The most annoying episode is the one I'm currently watching. Dude, 18 knocks up his girlfriend. Both have a plan of enlisting in the airforce, but because she's pregnant, only one of them can enlist. They agree that he has to enlist, BUT he has to graduate first.

At some point in the show, babe works out a plan to graduate which involves her taking night classes, but her bf has to be home to watch the baby. However, dude doesnt come home from school on time and jeopardizes her plans. She doesnt get to graduate. He graduates - only after she babies him through.

I mean its bad enough being knocked up at 16, but

1. by someone who isnt mature and still acts like a kid - though they are both technically kids

2. Having to babysit him, i mean its bad enough having a baby on the way, but another grown baby?

3. Forfeiting your own dreams so that he can achieve his - and eventually be able to care for the family

4. His trifling ass refusing to grow up inspite of everything!

I guess the morale of the story is:

1. Do not have sex in high school

2. and if you do, dont do it with a fellow 17 year old child - ok, i kid, but seriously ALL the teenage fathers I've seen in all the episodes I've been watching act like little children, and its the females that have to grow up fast and become adults.

3. Or better still, strap on!

I guess in a way, kudos to MTv for this show because God knows that almost everything else in the media glamourizes teenage pregnancy. From Jamie Lynn Spears, Sarah Palin's daughter, to the movie: Juno. They make it look cool and okay when in reality, thats not the case.

Almost every one of them had to get a job and fend for themselves. The only couple that looked like they were from upper middle class families are not left without their troubles either. The girl manages to graduate, but she has to take care of the baby herself while her boyfriend hangs out with his friends.

The theme that keeps coming up over and over again is how the girl has to shelve school, take care of the baby, while the dude just hangs in there wondering how he came to be in this mess!

This show'll definitely be more effective as a reality check for younger girls than the best birds-and-the-bees lecture you could ever give!

ok, I'm off to catch more episodes of the show!

Randomly speaking

someone once mentioned to me that I dont write random blog posts. Well, that's about to change cos this post is going to be as random as it gets:

* I'm back from my little trip- and no, it wasnt a vacation per se. It was a working trip to provide free medical care to people of a particular island. Only one person correctly guessed where it was, and I'm not surprised at the person, lol. This was my first time going on such a trip, hopefully there'll be more next year. Nigeria? who knows!

* I think I'm beginning to lose my blogging mojo. I dont come on my blog often, even though I have things that i want to write swirling around in my head. I read blogs on google reader and just lack the motivation to comment. am I losing it?

*plus changing my url has been messing up my blog life. My "love of my (blog) life" list disappeared, and I couldnt add it back from my google reader: I had to add it back manually. If you're not on the list anymore, its not because i love u less o! I'm still working on it :)

*you have google reader right? if not, what are u waiting for? you'll thank me later, honestly!

*July 22 is my blog birthday, and we're shutting down all of blogville to celebrate (in my mind right?) lol. owambe style! hopefully my mojo is back by then :)

*blame it on the booze, blame it on the alcohol - i choose to blame it on the boredom - My watching koko mansion on youtube. Boring is an understatement for what i endured! maybe its because this is still their first week in the house, so we'll give them the benefit of doubt. Though i seriously doubt how that show'll get interesting without some drama, fighting, bitching, and some exhibition of less-than-ideal-kokolette behavior!

*ok, this is the reason why i dont write random posts, my mind doesnt work in randoms!

I'm out!

See ya, Catch ya, Larraz!

passport....check

visa....check

Scrubs....check

Bikini......check

Stethescope....check

knee-length "responsible" dress....check

comfortable sneakers...check

Black heels....check

see you soon!

TTTEC: DUMPED ON BLOGVILLE

yes, you read right: TTEC - Talk to the Easier crew. No, you're not lost, this is not solomonsydelle's blog, but something has come up that requires immediate attention and advice

**** ******** ******* ********

My story is not new to most of you, but I will start at the beginning. A while ago, I was heartbroken and I had just been let down rather shoddily by my then "boo". we'll call him ex-boo. Boo had decided that my love wasnt enough and he needed to go dipping in other honey pots.

I was mad, I cried and after a while wished hi

m goodluck. I decided to open my heart for love once more. After a hot minute, I caught the eye of a very nice suave "deep thinking" cutie, and very soon I opened more than my heart to him. I got pregnant,

Everything was fine and dandy. He treated me like a princess. I never lacked anything, I just put my feet up and soaked in all the love and attention. My! was it fun? I had the best babyshower anyone could ask for. The kind that is still being talked about in these parts till today. Infact, it went on for two days with lots of food and drink

s.

After that, everything seemed to go down hill from there. My new boo went missing! He just left like that – leaving no traces whatsoever!

I was heartbroken. It seemed like my world had ground to a startling stop.

My feeble heart couldnt handle it again.

What’s more, after two months! Two months peopl

e! He was sighted in another babe’s area code, next he was sighted admiring another babe’s bum…is he trying to say my bum isn’t tight enough? (I know i should have stuck with bumTight!)

When I started out this post, I hadn’t heard from him, but as of yesterday, He came around. Now I don’t know what to do. I’m one step away from calling off this e-pregnancy – yeah, u read right! I was going to call off the pregnancy! (one should be able to call off e-pregnancies right?)

In the meantime though, feel free to wish him a happy Father's day!

How many hours can....

...a human being sleep in 24 hours?

Right now my record is 15 hours and counting!

This is the bestest feeling in the world!

My last post was in reference to my Board exams

The quote was from Isaiah 42:10 which i wrote inside my First Aid a few months ago

when I was paralyzed with fear

Thanks to everyone who commented on that post,

and for every prayer that was said on my behalf

I promise to dedicate 1/50th of my degree to you guys, lol

I have almost forgotten how to blog, leave comments and such

I had so many things to write about

you'll read everything as soon as i get my mojo back!

Thanks to Ibiluv for getting me a point on my exam

I had a question with the vignette similar to something she blogged about

I know i DEFINITELY got that question right!

Thanks to Buttercup also for getting me several points on the exam

I had at least 3 questions with vignettes similar to something she blogged about

The only way I remember that Verapamil (a drug) works on the heart and not on blood vessels

is thinking about the way Vera loves me, lol

I didnt get a question on it, but i remembered it.

if you send me the new Wande Coal album, I promise to love you forever!

That was my twitter update and gmail status message yesterday. So I want to declare my undying love for Quaggar, though you'll have to share it with Aloofar too!

Alright, I'm going to go think of something else to do besides sleep!

PS: notice the blog address change? can google reader users pls update me in their reader? thanks again!

This too shall pass...just like a kidney stone

So do not fear, for I am with you

do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my Righteous hand

Kokolette or Xanga?

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs, there’ll be no place to put it all – Robert Orben


I was going to continue writing a series titled “My Nigerian Music”, and D’banj was supposed to be my second installment. Read the first one on JSD here.
Dbanj...or Skibanj like his Jamaican brothers call him, is arguably one of the most successful artistes in Nigeria, not because he has a great voice, or because his lyrics are dope or even because he creates great dances. Two things:


1. Its Don Jazzy again….nuff said
2. He understands the business.

He’s one of the best entertainers out there, like he rightfully said in his latest album. Having watched him on stage countless times and for all of 15 mins when I paid $20 to see him perform here in the States, (that’s a story for another day), he’s one of the very few Nigerian artistes that can pull off a live show successfully- energetic, charismatic and knows how to get the crowd grooving- but that’s not what this post is about.
Dude knows how to play the game. Remember the time when “Koko” meant “the crux of the matter”? yea, the good old days. (I encourage you to look up “koko” in the urban dictionary, hilarious sturvs!) By the time “Tongolo Remix” came out, err….that definition didn’t quite fit

Do you like the koko
It’s the sweetest koko

Err….i think not!

Then Koko was redefined as “The essence of Dbanj” (my words, not his). Maybe Dora Akinluyi can borrow a leaf from Dbanj’s rebranding expertise! He became the Koko master, and all his female fans were referred to as Kokolettes. I wont even deny that I was a hardcore kokolette, often referred to myself as the HKIC, that was before I fell in love with Wande Coal…story for another day. A Kokolet was "a woman with good back[with emphasis], and intellectual properties that she can use. So, that is a Kokolet". The one that would drive 20 miles in the night to go see him perform even though she had a phobia for driving on the freeway and watch him perform for 15 mins instead of 2 hours with a crappy sound system and still love the show….where were we?

We wouldn’t even start with the koko water, koko foundation, maybe koko apparel? I’ve kinda lost touch of what the koko is. While I catch myself, lemme re-examine this application for the Koko mansion.

The search for the Ultimate Kokolette.

- You mean the ultimate groupie right?
- Wrong!

Now, the ultimate kokolette, is the perfect wifey material. Kinda goes against the grain doesn’t it?

Wairraminute, doesn’t this sound awfully familiar?
Right!

It kinda sorta sounds like Flavor of Love/for the love of Ray J…yeah, no wonder huffingtonpost.com (the leading democratic blog news website in the US) thought the same thing…BUT you’re wrong.
It’s all about the Morals. Koko Mansion is different, it “strives to celebrate womanhood and the true qualities of an African woman”2…blah blah blah

There won’t be any of those naked, underhand, bitching, scheming (feel free to insert other –ing words) that goes on such shows. I mean how much drama can you get when you put 12 women in a house for eight weeks? Not much!

He’s just looking for the ultimate wifey material. The show revolves around him, but it’s not about him. Personally, I believe there’s just as much bull anyone can dish out before they hit rock bottom –BUT that’s only if you’re not Dbanj.

So this kokolette has to be able to cook, clean, entertain, the whole works – perfect textbook wife. What does she get at the end? A ring, and Dbanj’s companion on events for a year and some other minor stuff (if the brand new car and 5 million naira booty counts as minor- that is) BUT I don’t want you to be confused thinking she’s Dbanj’s girlfriend or wife or anything like that, afterall she just gets a ring and follows him about as his “companion” at events for a year, but there’s absolutely no relationship between them- None absolutely whatsoever.

Are you confused? Think that sounds like a girlfriend, fiancée, wife or God forbid a glorified groupie?

Nah! You’ve just got too much common sense that’s all!

So does this mean this latest “koko” venture wont be successful?

Are you kidding me? Haven’t u been paying attention all this while? It’s D-B-A-N-J! – of course no matter how much outrage or underhand snickering that goes on about this, countless of young girls will buy that form for only #5000 (its not free, right?) and try out for the show, and even millions more will watch and vote (u might even have to pay, ok lemme double check my sources on that one)

Dbanj is a very successful entrepreneur who has proven time and again that he knows how to work this business. It’s not only Ms Kokoletta that’ll be smiling all the way to the bank. I’m even willing to bet that there will be a Koko Mansion II. I hear he even gets to use Kokomycin on the show- this is going to be great!


sidenote:
the title was in reference to an excerpt from an interview Dbanj gave: A xanga is the opposite of a kokolet.



PS: if you find yourself wondering what this article is about, not to worry, the author finds herself wondering the same thing also.

PPS: the administrator of this blog is still in hibernation mode because of them blasted USMLEs but she just came up for fresh air so as not to lose her mind. She will be visiting all your blogs in a couple of weeks when she's done. she appreciates ALL your birthday shout outs and hearts you totally!

PPS: she knows that you guys are totally having sleepless nights because of her absence and missing her so so much that blogging has just become boring because her shouts of "FIRST!" are not at the top of your posts. She wishes to let u know that she misses you guys too.

PPPS: she also implores you to save all your juicy, raunchy, interesting posts till she's back and just post boring memes!

Older and Wiser?

Today, I’m a year older. Yes, I feel old, I can almost hear my joints creaking, lol. I’m at the point where I’m realizing that you have to grow up and start thinking about more serious things- the cares of life. The things that you’d normally leave to your parents.

When I was a child I spoke as a child
I understood as a child I thought as a child;
but when I became an adult I put away childish things."


The realization that you have to put away childish things is beginning to dawn on me – and its not a comforting thought. I have resisted it for so long, that I didn’t know when it just crept up on me.

As a child, your life was just about school. getting the first position in class and just striving to be the best. Now I have to think less about that : Less school, More career

As a child, relationships were fun. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl and everything flowed naturally. Now its more serious. You have to think : do I see myself spending the rest of my life with this person?

The list goes on and on…

Every year it was my birthday, I looked forward to it with much zeal and zest that you would have to not exist not to know that someone’s birthday was coming along. Heck! Last year, I even had a countdown on my blog.

This year? Silence…though this may not be unconnected with the fact that I have to study for Board Licensing Exams around this time so all thoughts of fun will be *gulp* painfully pushed to the side. I’ll put on my birthday dress (yes, one never gets too old for birthday dresses) and start a party with First Aid for the USMLE step1, High Yield Biostatistics and if he’s a good boy, Pharm Recall.


I don’t want to turn 2y, but as that clock strikes midnight, this Peter Pan is swapping her boots for Cinderella stilletos….

PS: This year, there was no birthday list, but I figured it would be cruel of me not to give you guys the chance to express your love for me. So, Last year's list still applies- except u can take out Brian White from the list...the crush is dead. Click on it at the risk of ur purse!

Who is a Jand Awon boys?

Edit: For a moment there, I forgot that I was supposed to put this on my blog. Yes, the Book tour. If you are in town every saturday for the next 6 weeks and you need somewhere to take your date to, we got you! you gotta admit, its a really cool thing to do with a date/friend/family/crush aside the regular dinner and a movie, what's more its free!. I realize the poster is a little small, so click here for more details ...or click on the poster!
thanks guys!
...Plus our very own Joy Isi Bewaji, popularly known on blogville as Isi is going to be part of the book tour, so you know you dont want to miss it!




The issue of the "Jand Awon boys image" kept coming up a lot of times in the comments on the last post. So as Shubby suggested, I decided to address it in a post on its own.

Good day Mr moderator, incorruptible panel of judges, accurate time keeper, my co-debators (oh, im the only debator, o well...), my audience in blogville and viewers at home. My name is Bumight from Blogville International and I'm here to do justice to the motion which states that "Roc and Scribbles give the image of a Jand Awon Boys". lol

First, who is a "jand awon boys"? A jand awon boys, from hereon referred to as a JAB, is an embodiment of several things.

A JAB like a very wise saying goes, hopped up outta bed, turned his swagg on...yup! a JAB's got swagg. Now there are different kinds of swags, the tush ones, the crappy ones, the fake ones, even the borrowed ones. Whatever kind of swag it is, the JAB is sporting one and he really thinks and believes its the ish. yeah, the confidence of a JAB is waaay up there.



How are you going to spot a JAB just by looking at him? the way he dresses? lemme tell u about that. When u see a JAB at a party, you know its him. He's either sporting that polo shirt (you know the one with the huge ralph logo? yup! that's it) with his drivers. and when he doesnt feel like like sporting the polo look, he goes for the "I-just-got-off-work-and-decided-to-party" look. you know, the after office hours kinda look. Either the dress shirt and sweater or the dress shirt and suit sans tie. As another old man rightly said, you can learn how to dress just by checking his fresh...



While we're on the partying look, let's talk about the JAB and the ladies. The ladies loooooove a JAB when they see 'em....Maybe its the allure of a bad boy, who knows? with the look and the swag, its no surprise that a JAB knows how to charm the pants off the ladies (pun intended). As such, their sexual resume is quite em...a long ting.

At this juncture, let me reiterate that there are many levels of JABs. you know some people just try too much. The fake JABs, u can always spot - the ones with sunshades in the club, etc

Pretty much, a JAB is that dude that your mom meets in church and really gets along with but she tells you to be careful with him!

With this few points of mine, I hope I've been able to convince you and not confuse you...lol






On a separate note, I dreamt about smaragd, One of the triumvirate, and Temite.
In the first dream, I was out with Smaragd, some of my old neighbors in Nigeria and a couple of friends. We were going out when we suddenly saw some guys playing Polo. Smaragd said she knew one of them, that he was her former boss, owned a company, blah blah and she wanted to say hi. I started trying to ask her question to see if it was one of the cerberus. " does he have two brothers?"....but I didnt want her to know I was a blogger!

In the second dream, Temite came to my house to visit me...with her parents! Her parents came first and I was talking with them, Temite walks in with the younger sis of one of my friends. We were trying to get to talk without her parents knowing that we really didnt know each other off blogger.

Weird!

9 Wirters, 4 cities: The book Tour

From May 2nd to June 6th 2009, nine writers will embark on a book tour to 4 cities across Nigeria. The event is themed 9 Writers, 4 Cities: The Book Tour and it is a series of book readings, book signings and discussions. This sequence of weekend readings will hold in Benin, Ibadan, Lagos and Warri. The first event, which is to be hosted by Writers Anonymous at the African Artists Foundation in Lagos, will be followed by a ‘Book Party’.

The participating writers are: Odia Ofeimun (poet and author of The Poet Lied), Toni Kan (author of Nights of the Creaking Bed), Lindsay Barrett (journalist, poet and author of several books, including Song for Mumu), Jumoke Verissimo (author of I am Memory), Tade Ipadeola (a lawyer and author of the poetry collection A Time of Signs), Joy Isi Bewaji (author of Eko Dialogue), Eghosa Imasuen (medical doctor and author of To Saint Patrick), A. Igoni Barrett (managing editor of Farafina magazine and author of From Caves of Rotten Teeth) and Abimbola Adunni Adelakun (journalist and author of Under the Brown Rusted Roofs).

The series of events will take place at the following places:

Lagos: 2—7 pm on Saturday 2 May at the African Artists Foundation, No 54, Raymond Njoku Street, Ikoyi

Ibadan: 2—5 pm on Saturday 9 May at Cambridge House, 20, Joop Berkhout Crescent, Onireke

Lagos: 2—7 pm on Sunday 17 May at The Palms Shopping Mall, Lekki

Benin: 12—5 pm on Saturday 23 May at The Hexagon, 2A Golf Course Rd

Warri: 12—5 pm on Saturday 30 May at Flomat Books, Airport Road

Lagos: 2—5 pm on Saturday 6 June at the African Artists Foundation, No 54, Raymond Njoku Street, Ikoyi

Admission to all events is free. Signed copies of the participating writers’ books will be available for sale at all the venues on the day of each event.

The 6-week tour will be covered on the Farafina magazine blog while audio and video recordings of each reading will be placed on the Switched On website as podcasts. Dada Books, Daylight Media, The Palms, Planet One Television and Auggust Media are also media partners on this project.

For further information, please call 07061141232, or email auggustmedia@gmail.com

sometimes I get confused...

The Lord works in mysterious ways...and so does my mind. There are a couple of bloggers that, try as I may, I can never seem to be able to keep them straight in my head.

Freaksho and Writefreak
Actually, this was last year before writefreak started becoming a regular on my blog. I think i might have actually addressed Freaksho by Writefreak's name on his blog. Freaksho is male, writefreak is female, but they are both... (its not from my mouth that u'll hear that...)

Wordmerchant and Wordsmith
I won't even lie. I still cant say I can tell them apart but I'm going to get it someday. I know one of them is a new improved blogger, i just have to actually get on the blog to figure out who's who.

Shonavixen and Ibiluv
Actually, I have finally managed to keep these two sexy ladies apart. me thinks it was cos they both had pink blogs at some point(?)

Fashinga and Bibi
Sometimes I'm convinced Fashinga is Bibi...or I read a post by Fash and i think Bibi wrote it...I go to Fash's blog a lot more often, maybe thats why i dont go to Bibi's blog. sorry bibi, i think i'll rectify that soon :(

Original Mgbeke and Dat 1 Okrika girl
ok, you guys can do the math on this one. :) thankfully datoneokrikagirl doesnt blog anymore, so i guess that one was solved for me. The only thing though is that datoneokrikagirl wasn't anonymous- she had a picture on her blog. So anytime i think of original mgbeke, thats the picture I see in my head!


Qube and Quaggar
ok, they have different names (obviously!), different blog layouts, different everything, so why can't i seem to be able to separate the two bloggers?

Tygernity and Tigeress
Tyger is a sporadic blogger, so tigeress is getting all the shine in my books now - that one was a lot easier than it could have been...

Naijababe/Naijagirl/naija...
Honestly, nobody can blame me for this one!

Scribbles and Roc
ok, I can tell these two apart, but the reason why they are on this list is that they have the same image in my head. you know, the Jand "awon-boys" type of image. The explanation for this one is long, but i dont want to get into trouble. I think I'm going to stop here cos I dont think my foot can fit in my mouth any further... lol


Maybe this is the perfect timing to get a little clarification on the next two blogs...

A Little Light is All we need...
The first time I happened on her blog, i found myself wondering if she was talking about NEPA.

stop looking at me like that! afterall she lives in naija!

Even now, sometimes I still find myself wondering.


It was so much Easier When I had One...
Solomonsydelle, I still need you to explain to me. Do u mean when u had one child or when you had one blog?