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Sunday, November 1, 2009

The "unadulterated" Samson and Delilah Story





In case you missed it on twitter yesterday:

There was once a great man from Israel named Samson. He was a nazarite - no razor had ever touched his head.
One day, Samson was in Timah and one of the philistine women caught his eye, and samson went "See this lepa, lepa to bad oh". Immediately, he called up his father and told his father he wanted her. His father said to him "Isnt there any Israelite woman you can marry? you know that marrying from the philistines is against our traditions. But samson was adamant, He said to delilah "Even if them say na taboo, you go be my boo".

Anyways, to cut the long story short, Samson and Delilah became an item. When the philistines heard, they approached delilah with 1000 pieces of silver (Judas take note, u betrayed the lord for 12!) and asked her to find out the secret of samson's strength.

One day when Samson had his head on Delilah's lap, she asked him "Tell me the how you can be bound securely". Samson replied "If you tie me up with 7 bowstrings that have not been dried I shall be weak". When Samson slept, Delilah did just as he explained, but Samson woke up and broke free.

Then Delilah approached him again, "Tell me how you can be overcome" Samson said to her again, "If you braid my hair into a fabric on your loom and tighten it, I shall be weak" Again, Samson slept and Delilah did just as he said. Samson woke up and broke free once more.
Deliah then said " You are making fun of me and telling me lies, shey na like this we go dey dey?"

So samson told her "If you tie me with new ropes that have never been used". so once again he slept in Delilah's lap and she did as he told her. Yet again he broke free.

Then Delilah approached him pouting "How can you claim to love me and not share your secrets with me!" But samson comforted her saying, "I'm so into you, so much I think I might be losing it"
So he told her "Since I've been born, no razor has ever touched my head, if you were to shave my locks, I shall be as powerless as any other man"
Once more, Samson slept in Delilah's lap, and while he was asleep she shaved his hair, and called in the philistines to tie him up. They tied him up and gouged out his eyes.

When Samson woke up, he discovered that he was powerless, he cried out "Now its all gone! o n dun mi oh God e dey pain me".

The philistines carried him to their hall and gathered and asked Samson to play sport for dagon their god. Samson was tied to two huge pillars. he closed his eyes and prayed " Jehovah, Jehovah, i no fit shout" and So he leaned on the two towers with all his might and the towers collapsed killing all the philistines inside.
The last words on samson's mouth was "idobale mo wa oba aiyeraiye, idobale mo wa oba aiye orun, Idobale mo wa Oba oni, Oba ola, titi lailai" And with that, Samson killed more philistines in death than he killed while he was alive.

Question: What should Samson have said to Delilah when she asked him the SECOND time?
















Answer: Na Who born the maga!

38 comments:

Fabulo-la said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Im first!!!

Anonymous said...

first.

Fabulo-la said...

LOOL Thank God for Twitter orijo!
lool!

Tinu said...

tschewwww fabulola

Fabulo-la said...

Tinu dnt hate....and I like ur twist on Samson and Delilah..but come o Bumight na so u de listen to Wande Coal so?

Tinu said...

I laughed soo hard yesterday
Wande coal would be soo proud!!!

TaioFierce Ameen said...

lol, dis is so funny neva knew wande coal had ties to bible stories.... lol

achoiceofweapons said...

Bumight,
Cool version but you should read the account in the KEBRA NEGAST the one by Dr. Miguel cause one of the reasons Delilah may have done it wasn't because of the money but the KJV says the Philistines threatened to kill her and her Father and the KEBRA NEGAST (Complete Book of The Kings) states that she was pregnant with Samsons Child and that she had it later in her Sister's household who had married Philistine Royalty.

Could the child have had something to do with it? Maybe.
Mista Jaycee

Giagerry said...

funny bumight!
real funny doctor bumight!

Myne said...

I missed this ooo, LWKMD! Na who born the maga?!!!!!!!

Fragilelooks said...

Dis is simply hilarious. Wande coal,na i'm do d beats.

Aee Bonrue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aee Bonrue said...

laff wan kpai me hia o! loool. i missed this one on twi'er o! wande coal should pay for these Merrixes.Ahn ahn!

Noice peost...I loike!

~B~ said...

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! LWKWD!! u're freakin hilarious!!

AliceDCL said...

hilarious.....

juiceegal said...

Madam this ur W Ceezy obsession ehn, we must find a solution to it o...lol
This was mad funny mehn.

bArOquE said...

LOL...what he should have said to her was "LiLah baby, but why you dey over ginger your swagger?"

Quaggar said...

LMAO! Real good one, bumight...

Writefreak said...

Really nice! But i don't know what he should have said o! lol

Anonymous said...

looool
nicely unadulterated!
xx

Joy Akut said...

lol.

RepressedOne said...

LWKMD!!! Nicely done!! that wande coal album is off the darn chain.

lol@ na who born the maga!!

chayomao said...

Answer
YOU BAD!

Kai, wande suppose pay commission for this one.

Dee! said...

A very interesting version of Samsom/Delilah.

'dara said...

lmao..'na who born the maga' ..genius!

Owumi said...

Judas betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver :P

ooj said...

ok o. e be like say na Samson mama, brother, sister, uncle pickin gist you this one sha. korrect

Unknown said...

Like this version of the story...espeecially the soundtracks...lol

aloted said...

LWKMD..nice one!

aloted said...

LWKMD..nice one!

Afronuts said...

LOL...Bumight u dis crazy baby monkey...where did u get this?

Anoda Phase said...

lol...

Tinu said...

lmaoooooooo

m1ke said...

this one don make me laugh tire. na wa when u go post again

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Wande Coal needs to write you a check because you just made him look super cool with this post!

ablackjamesbond said...

cool! nice one bumight. been a while. how have u been?

ablackjamesbond said...

cool! nice one bumight. been a while. how have u been?

Isabella said...

Lol, your so nutty!

 

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