Prove your Love for me

It's that time of the year again. I know a lot of you would have been in a dilemma now for a while, so I decided to help y'all out. with only two weeks left and all...

1. Diamonds are a girl's best friend....who else can do it better than Harry Winston?

2. Time is money they say! With this Omega Constellation,

3. This baby is so last year, but I can manage sha



4. Only five bottles were made, three have already been sold. You've got to act fast!

5. Make me feel like Cinderella, I deserve it damnit!


6. It's not only the devil that can wear prada jo,

7. Just for completeness, get me Brian White!

I don't ask for too much... or do I?

Help! Anyone?

The latest fad nowadays is diet and excericise. Everybody and their mamas are doing it. I can't be left out. Plus its spring, I need to be in bikini shape for the summer. Even though I'm not fat, I'm of the school of thought that if your tummy don't look like Halle's, you have no business sporting a bikini. I knew there would be no dieting for me, so excercise it was.

So I signed up, got a call from a local gym that rhymes with Cally and I immediately regretted it. My appointment was for 9pm. By 8:45p I stopped everything I was doing and started getting ready. I was now excited. I mean, I was going to the G-Y-M!

I brought out my sweat pants, dustd my gym shoes and even brought out my red gym bra (said item of clothing had not been used in 2 years!). I looked for a black tee shirt- I didnt want to look too matching. I had to look like one of the pros who'd been doing this for years.

I spent about 3 minutes debating on whether or not to wear lipgloss. Everyone knows that trainers are always hot! I finally decided not to.

I had my white towel ready, I even took a bottle of water to perfect the whole outfit.

At 9pm, I drove the 1 minute drive to the gym and was introduced to the trainer I was supposed to see. He took me into the office for the preliminary talks.

Trainer: so what are your goals? do you want to work on a specific area, or tone up, or stay in shape, lose weight..
Bumight: I'm looking more into staying in shape
Trainer: that's good
was that a trick question?
Trainer: We have many programs and packages....

Anyways, to cut the long story short, dude said he would go over the programs with me and then show me around the gym and we'll work on a couple of machines(is that what they call them?) then come back and talk about the prices.
He took me on the treadmill , I worked that one like a pro. He showed me the ones that work the biceps, triceps, deltoids, hips, thighs, - In short, we were on a roll. I was beginning to feel the gym.

So we went in and started looking at the prices
1. He recommended the $49.95/mo plan for students
2. They require a 3 year contract
3. By this time I knew the gym wasn't for me

To be fair to the guy, he talked about a $19/mo plan that they had, but you still had to sign up for 3 years.
He then went into the sales pitch as to how I'll be doing this for my body, I need to take care of myself yadi-yadi-ya

All my excitement had deflated by this time.

Now I really want to start going to the gym for real. I mean its a way to relieve stress and all- ok, who am I kidding? I want a fab body and I need a new addiction ( see post below), but I can't pay $50 a month for 3 years! I know I'll be bored by the end of the first year. I don't have such money to waste.

The school gym is way smaller, and they have all the school athletes crowding in there intimidating the little people like me:(

I am getting my bikini body by fire by force! are there any better options out there that don't require a three year contract?

Almost doesn't count...or does it?

So maybe I'll be here
Maybe I'll see ya' round
That's the way it goes
Almost doesn't count
-Brandy

Some I 'dated', some I don't even know what to call them. Some people call them puppy love, others call them different names. I call them my Almosts.

Agent: The Guardian
qualifications: Never even held hands
Job experience: The ill-fated christmas card, couple of letters.

He was the very first person I noticed as a guy. I attended a same sex school for a while (started at a very young age), so of course my previous encounters with the male folk was limited to playing sets(soccer), hide and seek, police and thief and the rest.

In school, I had a guardian who had 3 sons and daughters. After a while, I noticed the second son "liked" me. I was afraid to like him back at first, cos he was way older and many seniors had crushes on him. How would he like me? A mere JS2 girl. since he was my guardian's son, we had more encounters than the leering seniors, and I started to like him.

One holiday, I went back home to Lagos, and I bought him some Christmas cards. I'm guessing (can't remember) the card had some buzzwords, i.e "darling", "love", "sweetheart" and a couple of others, because my mom found the card and scared the "Love" out of me. My mom is a story for another day. Needless to say, that was the end. I transferred that same semester.


Agent: Brainy Brian
qualifications: might have held hands, never kissed.
Job experience: SSCE past questions.

So I transferred to a co-educational school. The first guy to "toast" me was my friend's brother who was a year ahead. Dude was quick with it, I must admit. He always walked me home, sent people to pressurize me. After much wahala, I agreed to be his "girlfriend".

His idea of a relationship didn't suit mine.

He would come to my house with various SSCE past questions and give them to me to do. Our conversations always revolved around 1996 WAEC chemistry, JAMB past exams and the rest

I was bored.

By this time, I had realized that "Brain" was a little too much of a nerd for me. My mom didn't mind him coming to our house (which was weird), I guess she knew he was too much of a nerd to pose any "problems". I called it quits after like 3 weeks(?). Brain was heartbroken, but then I had discovered cuter and less nerdier boys in the school :)


Agent: D' Diddy
qualifications: Probably held hands, Never kissed
Job experience: Lots of coded letters, the famous ill-fated cardS

I call him my diddy cos in retrospect he looked and acted a lot like diddy. He transferred to my school in SS2( 11th grade). All the girls thought diddy was cute, and were falling over themselves to get him to notice them. I guess that was what put me off. I used to write in my diary in code-language, apparently diddy had his own codes. He challenged me to break his code- which I did.

Diddy then started to making passes on me, to which most of the guys in the class told him he was wasting his time. To the amazement of them all, Something started out between Diddy and I.

The guys were jealous, the girls hated me - it was the perfect "relationship".

My mom found some cards diddy sent me. It had the magic words " head over heels in love", "love", etc. She showed it to one of my teachers, and we both got punished. This time it didn't have the same effect as the last time. We kept on at it. However diddy, like the real Diddy, had wandering affections.

I broke up with him (before he could, hehehe) after I found out that he was "toasting" an SS1 girl. I don't share.


Agent: Lil Thiery Henry
qualification: Almost kissed
Job experience: couple of visits, gifts.

His period almost overlapped with that of diddy. Infact, I knew he liked me before diddy even transferred to our school, but he was slow. He never made a move, we were just friends. Sometimes I think diddy was intimidated by our friendship. We became closer. He used to walk me home from school almost everyday. Everybody knew there was an attraction there.

One day, we were sitting outside our class. He was sitting on the window sill, I was standing between his legs. He moved in to kiss me, ...but someone appeared then and ruined the moment. dang! The kiss never happened.

Shortly after, I changed schools and then he travelled after we finished high school. We got in contact when I got here. Infact, I called him. He wanted to pick up from where we left off, but things were not the same again. I still like him, but I'm not the same 13 year old anymore.


Agent: First Infatuation
qualifications: Held hands. Never kissed.
Job experience: coded letters, emails, e-cards.

I changed schools yet again, in my senior year of high school. To cut a long story short, I was attracted to one long genius like that. He liked me too. At first, it was a healthy competition with the books. I think he was attracted to me because of my brain. I was still very smart back then.

We were both in the boarding house then. We would spend hours and hours on weekends in each other's company in school. Just talking. When we ran out of things to say, we would just LOOK at each other.

Everybody in school thought we were dating. He never asked me out.

We finished school and he came to yanks within a few months....then he asked me out. We lived in this illusion for a couple of months...maybe a year.

I so wanted us to be in the same school. I travelled 2 years after he left. I was in a different state. Then we drifted apart. He found someone else, I found someone else.

Everybody was disappointed. We were both happy. Now, he's off the market....for good.

Gonna find me somebody
Not afraid to let go
Want a no doubt be there kind of man
You came real close But every time you built me up
You only let me down
And everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

This has to be some April Fool's Joke or something!

The offending pieces of clothing...


So I'm in the Foyer right outside my class, gisting with fellow classmates ,like fellow classmates should, you know trying to be social. One of my friends passes by. In all fairness to her, she's a sweet person and all but she uttered a statement that just got the other half of me all awakened up.

"Bumight, why are you looking all nice and all, we know its because of superbrain"

say what?!

Then another sweetheart (dude) of mine cosigned

"yeah, u coming to school all blinged out and all..."

"we know, everyone's been talking about it, ever since you started studying with them...yeah yeah, I've never seen the hair in curls before..."

mogbe!

is that how to tell me you like my hair? I FREAKING HAD A DINNER EVENT ON SATURDAY IDIOT!

I was just shocked speechless. For her to say that, I know my people, that's what they all think.

No apologies to anyone, but I do like to dress up. I mean if I'm going to be in school all day and most of the night, where am I going to dress up to if I don't dress up to school? As if life is not depressing as it is, should I now start dressing as depressing as it is?

my people ask me what I wore?

a black top, a polka dot camisole, blue jeans and black boots.

shikena!

Funny thing is that I've worn the exact same combination to school but nobody said anything. I know people think that I like to dress up, and YES I DO! but don't even suggest that I'm dressing up for no man!

I dress up for myself! (u are permitted to roll ur eyes ) it makes me feel good about the day if I feel beautiful doing whatever the day has to offer. I know everyone says that, but its the honest truth. I love coming up with new combination of clothes, and I feel elated when I come up with one that rocks! I feel even more excited when I get compliments about my achievements. I've been like this since forever! Yes, I love the attention (I never denied being vain :)}, it does not matter where the attention comes from. Infact, I feel even giddier if the attention comes from a female, and no thanks! I'm no le-le.

This is not the first time someone is telling me that I "dress up" to school, but this is the first time someone is telling me that I'm dressing up because of a guy!

you all have not even seen nada! Summer, can you please hurry up?

UPDATE

so I got feedback that the comment was as a result of my hair. They said I've been "doing" my hair lately.

oshi ati iranu!

I got out of my naija braids like 3 weeks ago, got a touch up and then I've had curls for about a week now. Apparently that is too much for them to handle.

Actually, I'm secretly smiling cos I'm such a hair person. I get a high from people telling me that my hair looks good. :P