Usually I'm good at it -being strong that is. With a smile on my face, a chirpy attitude, and Pharell's "happy" playing in the background, you would think I have not a care in the world. However when I had to put on my sunglasses while sitting in traffic so that other drivers wouldn't see me cry, I knew I ws close to breaking.
I'm tired of acting strong, I'm tired of appearing strong. I'm tired of repeating the same prayers over and over wondering if He hears me, I've held back the tears for so long that the dam is threatening to burst. I really want to have a good cry, problem is there's so many people around me that I don't have the privacy to cry -which might be a good thing cos I don't want to slip into depression -again.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, because there has been light in this tunnel. I've been able to do a lot of things I never thought I'd be able to do,, but I want more. I don't think I'm asking for too much. , and if I can't get more now, I really want to bitch and throw a tantrum about if.
Being strong is tiring. I'm not as strong as you all think I am. Not as strong as He thinks I am.
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