The lion's den

So earlier this month, I decided I was going to go renew my Nigerian passport- or rather get the
not so new ePassport. I had heard tales of the Nigerian embassy. Of course it did not help that when I put it up on twitter, I was directed to this blog that documented a blogger's woes at the embassy. Anyways, I made my way to the Naija embassy because my friend wanted to make some enquiries.

 There and then we met "Oga Stanley" at the front entrance. After asking him all the questions and then some, we decided to come back. So I went online, filled out the forms, paid the fees and got my appointment date. 

 Note: there was no time on the appointment notice, so bumight calmly strolled into the embassy at 2pm. I know right? Pushing it. Cos if it were Walter Carrington I'd have been there at 5am! I met this woman at the front desk who politely informed me that they had closed. I tried to swerve her, but she said there was nobody there, and that I should book another appointment online. 

Just as I made my way to go, I heard a voice

 "bumight, bumight, why art thou persecuting me?" 

 Ok, ok,it didn't go like that, but I heard a voice sha. Asking me to "come this way". At first I was surprised cos I didn't see anybody. Long story short, the voice was coming from one of those one sided mirrors, and he asked me why I was there , b,ah blah, what did they tell me inside, and said I should come the next day....then he gave me his number. I looked closely and I saw it was Oga Stanley!

 Anyways, so I go the next day, and I am attended to quite swiftly. I was then ushered into a room to have my finger print and picture taken. 

 Lady. "oluwabumight ESUPOFO" 

Me: "yes that's me!" 

Lady "female?" 

Ehen, hermaphrodite ni! 

 Me: "yes" 

Lady" what's your occupation"

 Me: "doctor" 

 And from then on the tone of the interview changed. "doctor this...this way doctor....doctor that..." I was really trying hard to keep a straight face, I sha finished and was told to come back in 3 weeks for my passport. 

 Total time spent: 45 mins! 

 On the way out, I ran into Oga Stanley!

Then it was time to go pick up my passport, I got there at the speicified time, only to meet a couple of people at the gate of the embassy and couple of cop cars there. So I called "oga stanley" and he told me the embassy will be closed till the next week. I kinda engaged the people protesting because, in my opinion, corruption didnt just start today, so why are we protesting today
and holding up my passport?

Anywhoos, they told me
1. There are no information brochures in the Nigerian embassy
2. We pay the most in passport and visa fees compared to other embassies around
3. All the money we pay
ends up in a stripper's thong in Vegas
is unaccounted for

I went back yesterday, and finally I'm a proud owner of the new e-passport. It took all of 5 minutes! so my experience so far has not mirrored what everybody told me. The staff were friendly and courteous to me and its not just because of the doctor thing. Yesterday, I wasnt dressed very "doctorly" and the lady that was gushing over me the other day was at the table but she didnt recognize me. She still attended to me politely. The dude that brought my passport was friendly and was even cracking jokes with me
I refuse to believe it was because I'm an "ele toh bahd!"


All in all, I had friendly people, great service, and an overall positive experience...over the span of 4 separate visits!